An Online Conversation with Joseph Lariosa, an NFL Fan of a Friend from the Windy City, and Other Kibitzers

By Jesse Jose

A Cup O' Kapeng Barako 

T his story is just for laughs. You know, as in LOL. Or better yet, as in LMFAO. 

I should have written this story last week, but I was of town, out of the country, in fact, vacationing with my wife. And on vacations, I don't usually read my emails. I completely stay away from computers and concentrate on things that one usually does on vacations, and that is, to have fun, all sorts of fun.

That long weekend vacation with my wife (we went to Acapulco, Mexico), was also the weekend the Chicago Bears and the Seattle Seahawks played their NFL game. Before we left, I wrote a quick e-mail to my friend and colleague, Joseph G. Lariosa (JGL), a well-known Chicago-based Fil-Am columnist, and an ardent fan of the Bears ... you know, just for the fun of having a good jiving "kantsawan."  So, I wrote this:

"Hello JGL ... How are you? The Seattle Seahawks are on their way there to peck on the gonads of the Chicago Bears. Whoohoo! They better run back into their caves before the Seahawks get a hold of them. Say mo?  JJ"

JGL answered and this is his answer, verbatim:  "Walang sinabe ang yong Seahawks, Talo yan sa Bears. Wanna bet, $100?"  (JGL is a Bicolano, you see, so he speaks Tagalog in that way).

I replied: "JGL, my friend ... You're on.  I am betting my piggy bank full of pennies!  Remember, the Seahawks just clobbered last year's defending champion, the Saints.  And before that, the Rams.  In fact, pinaluhod nila at pinagrosaryo yung mga Santo.  Ngayon naman, tatangalan nila ng bayag ang mga Bears and turn them into Eunuchs. And your beloved Bears, will be called, fittingly, the Chicago Eunuchs.  LOL.  JJ"

A fter this brief lively exchange of emails with JGL, my wife and headed on to our weekend destination.  When we came back home on Tuesday, our son, Jonathan told us the news that the Seahawks had lost to the Bears.  Oh well, I said to myself, you win some, you lost some, like some friends that we've made in life.  Ain't no big deal.  Life goes on....

Then, I went to my computer to check on my emails.  Heavens!  My box was full.  Several of them from JGL and a handful of online conversation from JGL and Bart T,CPA, I was made privy to.  As y'all know, Dear Readers, Bart T. is the publisher/editor of FilAm MegaScenes of Chicago.  Plus, a kibitzing comment from Perry Diaz.  Y'all know Perry, right?  There was also, a couple of comments from LOLO Bobby.  Of course, everybody knows LOLO Bobby, from East to West, and from North to South, world-wide, that is.

Here's what JGL said:

"Hi, JJ ... Now that my Bears kicked the butts of your Beloved Seahawks, it is always good to remember that you need to have sufficient information before you come to a decision on whose team to root for, and/or any decision in life that you make. 

"And, of course, some luck and sometimes, lots of it.

"It would have been a double celebration for me if you accepted my $100 friendly bet -- my team won and my bank account would have been richer by $100.  JGL"

Then, came this e-mail from LOLO Bobby.  Ever the gentle and gracious one with his e-mails to people he considers as friends, he said: 

"Dear Joseph and Bart and Friends in Illinois ... Congratulations on the victory of your NFL team.  It looks like the Chicago Bears are going to the Super Bowl.  Good luck.  Bobby."

Then ... Bart T. came on with this response:

"Somebody must be very unhappy of this victory.  But it's only natural that in life, some things are won; other are lost.  Like the spinning wheel, life is up and down.

"Sometimes you win friends; other times you lose them.  But did I hear right that 'It Never Rains in Southern California' and there are many people, who are 'Sleepless in Seattle'?  Are those the signs of depression and melancholia?

"In Chicago, we always say 'Cheers' even with the crisis of our times and the curses of the naysayers.  Cheers!  BT."

Hmmmm.  Very interesting comments from BT, I thought, with a big smile on my lips, for the plot thickens, ika nga.

Then ... JGL said this:

"Unfortunately, Bart, there are people, who do not want to accept defeat, even if the win is convincing. They go to extra length of finding any excuse they can think of under the sun, no matter how lame, just to reject defeat. They are not very sportsmanlike. They are killjoys or sour grapes!"

Hmmmm.  The plot truly sickens now, I mean, thickens now, I thought.

Bart T. answered: "Joseph ... And that's also a fact of life that we have to admit, no matter how it hurts. Defeat is just a bitter sorrow; victory a sweet comfort to a persevering soul."

Hmmmm. Fiesty, attention-grabbing dialogues, like reading a play written by Arthur Miller. Full of twist and turns ... and intrigues and interesting clichés.

T hen ... this comment from a kibitzer, Perry Diaz.  Dear Readers, y'all know, Perry, right?  He's a columnist, too, from California and a frequent pen pal of LOLO Bobby and my good friend, Romy Marquez, of Toronto, Canada  He said this: "Hi Joseph ... If a person can't accept defeat, how can he claim victory?  Defeat is temporary, victory is permanent!  Cheers, Perry."

Hmmmm.  Did I hear that right?  Parang si Erap.  Same-same.  LOL.

FROM BEARS TO EUNUCHS: A week passed. I was so darn busy with other things in my life that before I had the chance to reply to JGL's emails and to the kibitzers' ... it was already the Sunday of the game between the Chicago Bears and the Green Bay Packers. On that Sunday, while I was reading the latest novel of Ken Follett, "The Fall of Giants" on our dinning room table, I would give cursory glances at the television in our living room, where my wife and our son, Jonathan, were watching the game, noisily.

When the game ended, I asked my son, "who won?"  He announced, "The Green Bay Packers."

Hah, I said to myself, it's now my turn to gloat.  So I went upstairs to my computer room and fired this gleeful, gloating, taunting e-mail to JGL:

"Hello JGL ... So, it took the 'Fockers' of Wisconsin, I mean, the Green Bay Packers to turn your Beloved Bears into Eunuchs and back into their caves for their much-awaited hibernation all winter long.  Pahinga na sila, ha?

"As you said, my friend, 'It is always good to remember that you need to have sufficient information before you come to a decision on whose team to root for....' But really, I don't blame you. We usually root for our home team, di ba?

"If only I took the time to bet my piggy bank full of pennies for the Packers' victory, and to quote you again, "it would have been a celebration for me," as I would then have in my possession two piggy banks full of pennies to bet on the loss of Pakyaw in his next fight.

"As someone in this list serv said: "But it's only natural that in life, some things are lost. LIKE THE SPINNING WHEEL, LIFE IS UP AND DOWN."  In other words, what goes around, comes around. Or, is it the other way, what comes around, goes around?

"Either way, the butts of your Beloved Bears got kicked, big time, right, my friend?  And I'll bet my piggy bank of pennies now, that there would be many people who would be "sleepless" there in the windy, icy and chilly city of Chicago tonight ... and for many nights to come, due to MELANCHOLIA and DEPRESSION.  LOL.

"So, what kind of Super Bowl your Beloved Bears would be going to now?  Baka sa bowls ng Super Sungka, o kaya sa bowl ng suka, hindi kaya?  LOL and more LOL's.  Sarap tumawa.  Or, in the way Ed Navarra, NaFFAA's current national chairman, taught me how to laugh with gusto: LMFAO!!!

JGL gamely answered: "JJ ... you're right, I usually root for my team, like the Bears and Pacquiao.  If you want I will not bet for my home team this time. Ilabas mo na lang $100 check mo sa Super Bowl.  I will bet for Green Bay against the Steelers! Same terms I earlier told you.  There is still time -- 14 days to mail your check to me, and my check to you!"

My reply: "JGL, my One and Only Friend in the City of Winds ...  I feel for you: your hurts, your melancholia, your depression, your sleepless nights and all those things that can come from the humiliating and disappointing defeat of your home team.  As LOLO Bobby is so fond of saying, 'Kwarta na, naging grava pa.'  LOL.

"As to your perseverance in betting your hard-earned $100 ... I am sorry to say but I only have my piggy bank of pennies to lay alongside hundred-dollar bet. I am no gambler, you see.  I don't even go to smoke-filled casinos. I hate those kinds of places.

"You seemed to be very adamant in betting your hundred dollars.  So, okey ngarud then, your hundred dollars for my pennies. If the Green Bay Packers lose, you send me your hundred dollars. If they win against the Steelers, then I'll send you my piggy bank of pennies that I've been diligently saving to bet on the next fight of Pakyaw.

"Remember BT's words, 'life is like a spinning wheel ... up and down.' That's very true! O sige na, try to sleep na. Mahirap yan sakit na "melancholia." By the way, here in Seattle, we don't say, "cheers" to friends in crisis. We say, "take care, my friend" ... yes, even to cursing, nay-saying foes and so-called, pseudo-friends."  JJ

PS: Dear Readers, this NOT the end yet of this "story for laughs."  As I write this, JGL and several kibitzers of this online "kantsawan" haven't stopped. Mga SLEEPLESS kasi, eh. Pero, humahaba na 'to.  Kaya, that's all muna, ha?