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Jan 27th
Home Columns A Cup O' Kapeng Barako It Was, Indeed - the Year of the Pig
It Was, Indeed - the Year of the Pig PDF Print E-mail
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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Friday, 28 December 2007 06:48

This year is just about done. A few more days it would be over. It was the year of the pig.  True to its name, it was a piggish year. A wacky year. A weird year.  A scandalous year. 


Let's review it.


THE MAN WITH THE WIDE STANCE: "I am not gay," so said Senator Larry Craig after he was arrested in a men's room at the Minneapolis airport in an undercover sex sting.  According to the arrest report prepared by the undercover officer, who arrested him, "Craig stated ... he has a WIDE STANCE when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine."


Senator Craig also "tapped his foot" against the officer's foot and "waved his hand underneath the partition" of the stalls.  The Idaho GOP pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.  At first he intended to quit.  Now, he says he'll finish his term.


MADAME'S FAVORITE: Senator David Vitter, another goofy GOP was discovered to have the distinction of being the biggest name and "the number one client" on a Washington, D.C. escort service phone list.  Yeah, just like those PACKAGE DEAL escort services that are provided to Japanese tourists in the Philippines. 


We heard that Vitter has also the distinction of being "the biggest tipper" for those services rendered to him.  Yeah, just like those Japs.  This goofy GOP from Louisiana said "God and his wife have already forgiven him," so he's also staying on as a GOOF, I mean, GOP senator.


"SCOOTER" LIBBY: VP Dick Cheney' former chief of staff was convicted for LYING in court in a CIA leak case.  He was sentenced to 30 months in prison, but Mr. Bush commuted the sentence, calling it "EXCESSIVE" punishment.  Water boarding, yeah, that's excessive.


NEGLECT OF VETERANS: Staff Sergeant John Shannon, a wounded Iraq war veteran testified early in the year about "patient neglect and shoddy conditions" at Walter Reed Hospital, the supposedly premier hospital of the U.S. Army.  This scandal cost the hospital commander, an Army general and the Army Secretary their jobs. 


It was also a wake-up call to all the civilian administrators of VA hospitals all over the country to get off their butts and pay attention more to vets ... instead of those "pretty little nurses" in VA hospitals.  That's right, shape up or ship out, misters.  Do your job.  America is number one because of us, vets.


A NASA LOVE TRIANGLE: Navy Commander Lisa Novak's NASA career went tumbling down when she was arrested in Orlando, Florida.  Cops say she drove 1,000 miles non-stop from Houston to Orlando to "kidnap and kill" a rival for the love of a fellow astronaut. 


So she won't have to go on a BRB during that long drive, she wore a diaper....  Crazy love, I tell ya. 


A RAPE THAT WASN'T: The rape case against a handful of Duke University Lacrosse players blew up in the face of Prosecutor Mike Nifong.  He went from prosecutor to prosecuted when it was found out that he withheld evidences that could disprove the guilt of the accused youngsters.  He also said that the DNA that was found at the scene of the imagined "gang rape" was irrelevant to the case.


He was DISBARRED, resigned as Durham County District Attorney and served a day in jail for contempt of court.  Last we heard, he now works as a burger flipper at McDonald's.


DON IMUS: His remarks about the players of the Rutgers University women's basketball team got him fired and off the air by CBS.  He repeatedly apologized.  He practically begged to be forgiven, but "no way," said the Reverend Al Sharpton, "you burn, baby, burn."


But Imus didn't get burn.  He returned to the air waves a few months later with ABC radio.  His show is now again heard all over the country and he's getting paid mucho millions for it.  Reverend Sharpton and company must have burned when they heard this.  Burn, baby, burn.


FALLEN STARS: NFL player Michael Vick's bright career as a quarterback was "mauled by pit bulls," when he pleaded guilty to charges of promoting dog fighting on his property.  The Falcons suspended him and he was sentenced to 23 months in prison.  What a waste!  A rare talent gone to the dawgs, so to speak.


Another bright star who fell from grace due to steroid use was three-time Olympic gold medalist Marion Jones.  She tearfully admitted that she used steroids ... after saying repeatedly that she never used those enhancement drugs.  Jones pleaded guilty to felony charges, gave up the medals she won at the 2000 Olympic Games ... and retired from her sport.


She was so beautiful to watch.  I cheered for her during the GAMES.  I cried with her when she admitted her deception.


GOD AND POLITICS: According Syndicated Columnist Andy Borowitz, Mike Huckabee, a former Arkansas governor and GOP president wannabe, has already picked his VP: Jesus Christ.  In every debate that he was in, he never failed to mention Christ's name.  The Rev. Pat Robertson, a supporter of Rudy Giuliani, said he was "blindsided" by that news.  "I talked to Jesus the other night," said Rev. Robertson, "but he didn't mention anything about it to me."


ET TU, BHUTTO?: Like a "buto," I think Ms. Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan had no brains.  There were many assassination attempts and death threats on her before she was shot to death the other day.  Why she didn't take the precautions to protect herself from those dangers is to me a sign of utmost stupidity. 


Perhaps, she wanted to be killed.  Perhaps, she wanted to be martyred.  She was the face of America in a country where Americans are not well-liked.  She was a symbol of American neo-imperialism in a country teeming with Al Qaedas and Talibans.  She was a TARGET, begging to be assassinated.  She got her wish.  She's now a martyr....        


Yeah, this year is just about done.  A few more days it'd be over.  It was, indeed, the year of the PIG.  A scandalous year.  A weird year.  A wacky year. 


Yo, Happy New Year, y'all!!!  



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Last Updated on Sunday, 30 December 2007 15:05

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