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Aug 14th
Home Columns A Cup O' Kapeng Barako Laughing at the Hacking of my AOL E-mail Address
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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Wednesday, 11 January 2012 20:18



By Jesse Jose

A Cup O' Kapeng Barako


Y esterday, I had so much fun.  I laughed and laughed and laughed, as in LMFAO.  And that's because my e-mail was hacked.  Yes, hacked.  Spammed.


It began when I received a "Final Notification" from AOL that said I needed to reset and upgrade my e-mail address, otherwise all my files would be deleted.  They asked me to type in my e-mail address and password on the blank spaces provided.  And for security reasons daw, they also asked me the name of my pet dog. 


Fearing that my Barako writings would all vanish if I don't this, stupid me, I complied with that AOL request, typing in the information, including the name of my pet dog, BHO.




Hours later, I received a frantic call from my sister, Raquel, in Florida, asking me if I am okay, and that she would send the money, but she needed to hear my voice first.  I asked her, "What on earth are you talking about?  What money?"  


"Go, check your e-mail," she said.


"Why?" I asked.


"Because," she said, "In your e-mail that you sent, you're in London, England, and that your were mugged and robbed and all your credits cards and IDs were stolen and that the hotel where you stayed won't let you check out until all the bills are paid first.  And that the police and the Philippine Embassy couldn't (do) anything for you...."


So I was "stranded" daw in London, with not money at all. And I needed thousand of pesos (in the e-mail that I read afterwards, the money denominations were in pesos) to pay my hotels bills and airfare to get back home.  And that the RECIPIENT of the money would be my wife. Below my wife's full name was a fictitious account number.  


"First of all," I told my sister, "Why should I contact the Philippine Embassy when I am not a Filipino citizen and why should I ask money from you when I have my own money? And why is it that the money denominations being asked were in pesos?"


"You were mugged!" my sister exclaimed.  "Do you know what the word, "mugged" means?


"Secondly," I added, "How can I get mugged in London, England, when I am here in Washington ... here in America, having this conversation with you on my home phone."


"Madali kang maloko," I told my sister.  "That was a SPAMMED e-mail.  Delete it and don't respond to it."


THE LAUGHING BEGAN: The fun began when I opened my computer to check my e-mail, and the first thing I saw, responding to that spammed e-mail was my favorite pen pal, Perry Diaz.  Yeah, him!  The maestro. 


In his e-mail Perry said that he had already "sent one-million pesos to my friend, Bobby Reyes, and that hopefully Bobby has given me the money.  That's a million pesos, pal."  Perry added that he has also sent "chicken SIOPAO as my baon" for my trip back home.


I laughed.


I replied, "Hey Perry, I got the money and my baon.  You're truly a pal. But I don't really need it as I am a secret millionaire, due to my Barako writings, so I donated the money na lang to PEE-NOY, aka, RETARD to buy pussies and luxury cars that I heard he has a lot of fondness of."


"I am glad," Perry said, "that you got the money. But don't tell your friends about it, because I am now down to five-million pesos...."


I laughed.


Another friend, named Bill, also offered five-thousand dollars to send. And another, two-million dinar.  And another, a million franc.  Many others wanted to send me the money.  I can't really name them all.  There were so many of them.  What this shows is that, I have a lot of wealthy and millionaire friends all over the world that I don't know about, who are willing to give me millions of pesos and dollars and dinars in my time of need.


And I laughed about it! 


And at this point I am sure, the stupid hackers, who were monitoring these exchanges of e-mails with my "millionaire" friends, were SALIVATING at the money that's going to be sent to my wife's fictitious account number. 


And I laughed about it!


I received e-mails from others, too, showing their concerns, asking if this is true. Some just wanted to know if I am a relative, or a cousin of sort.  I mean, they seriously believed that I was asking them money. 


So, I laughed again. 


I was the center of attention of so many people, unknown to me. 


A few resented  the fact that I was asking them for money.  I mean, they really believed the SPAMMED e-mail.  Some of them even cursed me out.  I don't even know them.  I didn't recognize any of their names.  Most of the names were Filipino names.  


A couple of good friends e-mailed me to confirm. I e-mailed them back and told them my e-mail was hacked and that was a spam.  Others called.  One said, "I just saw you yesterday, what da heck are you doing in London today?"  The other said, "Did you get some good pictures of London?" 


I laughed and they laughed.  All day long, I was laughing. 


PS: After I got done laughing and having fun, I took the suggestion of my good buddy, Gerry, to change the PASSWORD of my e-mail. As soon as I did that, the spammed e-mail magically vanished, along with the exchange of e-mails between my "millionaire" friends and me. I didn't change the name of my pet dog though. I like the name, BHO, for my doggone "dawg."  JJ

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