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Home Columns A Cup O' Kapeng Barako Let's Take a (Kapeng-Barako) Break Muna and Have Fun! (Jokes from RP)
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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Thursday, 14 June 2007 07:33

I laughed. And I laughed and laughed when I heard the jokes that I am reproducing in this column. The stories here, by the way, are dedicated to ESPERANZA TALAVERA SANCHEZ. She loves dyoks, especially Pinoy dyoks. So, enjoy.


Usapan ng dalawang mayabang …

Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko. Tuwing umaga, dala niya ang diario ko sa akin.

Diego: Alam ko.

Tomas: Ha? Papaano mo nalaman?

Diego: Ikunukuwento sa akin ng aso ko!

* * *

Dalawang magkaibigan: Si Dado at si Rodel. Gustong malaman ng dalawang magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit. Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik para sabihin kung may basketbol sa langit.

Naunang namatay si Dado. Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang (galing) kay Dado.

"Ikaw ba ‘yan, Dado?" tanong ni Rodel.

"Oo," sagot ni Rodel.

"Parang hindi totoo," bulalas ni Rodel. "O, ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?"

Sagot ni Dado, "May maganda at masama akong balita sa ‘yo. Ang maganda, may basketbol doon. Ang masama … kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!"

* * *

Different prayers of single women …

At age 15: Lord, give me a SuperMAN.

At age 18: Lord, give me a cute MAN.

At age 20: Lord, give me the best MAN.

At age 30: Lord, give me a good MAN.

At age 40: Lord, give me a MAN.

At age 60: Lord, maawa ka naMAN.

At age 70: Lord, kaya ko pa naMAN.

At age 80: Lord, kahit hipo MAN lang.

* * *

Advantage at disadvantage ng may asawa …

ADVANTAGE: Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.

DISADVANTAGE: Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan pa rin!

* * *

Sa isang classroom …

Titser: Class, what is ETHICS?

Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks.

Titiser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg on your card!

Sa kabilang classroom …

Titser: what is INNER ROW?

Manuel: Inner row is that which comes before Pibrerow, Marso, Abril, Mayow….

* * *

Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayon mahirap na kami, nakukutsara na.

Pedro: Baligtad yata.

Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

* * *

What is the difference between a girlfriend, a call girl and a wife?

Sagot: Post paid, prepaid, unpaid.

* * *

Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.

Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kung gawin?

Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.

Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru’n?

Dok: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!

* * *

Misis: Hindi ko na kaya ‘to! Araw-araw na lang nag-aaway tayo. Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na ‘to!

Mister: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito, away roon! Mabuti siguro, sasama na ako sa ‘yo!

* * *

Umuwi si Mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya ang kanyang Misis na ma katalik na lalaki sa kama.

Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?

Mister: Sino ‘yang katabi mo?

Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!

* * *

I always save the best for last. This is in line with what my colleague, ROMY MARQUEZ, said in his column, "Password" last week, about the Filipino fondness and propensity of attaching "assumed titles" to their names.

"We have a proliferation of doctors, lawyers, engineers, queens, military officers, journalists, publishers, etc.," he wrote. "Every conceivable area is covered so much so that the ordinary folks are quite a rare specie in danger of extinction."

"We have doctor this and doctor that, Ph.D. this, Ph.D. that, from some obscure colleges in the Philippines or in the United States, most likely from correspondence schools that mass-produced diplomas faster that one could open a purse," he added. (Editor’s Note: To humor further the readers of Ka Jesse Jose and Romy Marquez, we will run also today in the Parables Section an anecdote about a Beverly-based Filipino-American Ph.D.

Hyperlink: A Parable of the Filipino Ph.D. in Beverly Hills)

Here it is:

Anak: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma’am kung ano raw ang propesyon ninyo.

Itay: Sabihin mo, CARDIOLOGIST.

Anak: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?

Itay: ‘Yung tagaayos ng RADIO sa CAR.

And so, I laughed and laughed. And, I am still laughing. I hope Esperanza Talavera Sanchez, had enjoyed this, too.

Okey ngarud, till next week.

# # #



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Last Updated on Friday, 06 November 2009 08:33
 

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