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Oct 31st
Home Columns A Cup O' Kapeng Barako Odds and ends … and Alzheimer’s
Odds and ends … and Alzheimer’s PDF Print E-mail
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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Wednesday, 03 October 2007 06:37

The world is like a mirror:  frown at it and it frowns at you.  Smile and it smiles, too. - Herbert Samuels

So, Newt Gingrich, another disgraced GOP Speaker of the House during the time of Pres. Bill Clinton, finally said he’s not running for president.  He predicted that a Democrat will win the White House in 2008.

Hey Newt, that’s a given!  And it’s gonna be that woman that y’all have been demonizing.  Yeah, Hillary Rodham Clinton. 

That’s right, sir, THAT woman whose husband, Bill, you and Tom Delay, the Bible thumper and Senator Larry Craig, the foot thumper, tried so hard to also demonize as a big time womanizer, crook and even a murderer.

Now check this out: Do y’all know that men’s restroom stall in the Minneapolis airport where Sen. Craig was arrested for his “wide stance” is now a TOURIST SPOT? 

I tell ya, America teems with hypocrites … and sickos.

So … from what I’ve been hearing there are now SIX branches of the U.S. military that are now fighting in Iraq: the Marines, the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Coast Guard …

And BLACKWATER, that mean, lean KILLING machine of Iraqi civilians.

So, the warmongers, I mean, the war supporters of the Iraq War have boasted that the SURGE is working because the month of September has the lowest levels of American casualties since July of last year.  Only 66 U.S. soldiers have died.

Piece of cake, right?  ONLY 66!  That ain’t nothing.  Also, the month of September brought ONLY 400 attacks on civilians and Iraqi and coalition forces.  That’s right, ONLY a couple of hundreds car bombings, ONLY a hundred killings and murders, and ONLY a handful of beheadings … hey, that ain’t nothing!  Piece of cake, huh?  

So, White House spokesman Tony Snow quit his job over his low salary daw.  And so did Michael Jackson at the Homeland Security.  Both earn $168,000 a year.  It doesn’t look really good when two employees of the Bush Administration can’t make ends meet on a salary that’s four or five times higher to that of an average American household. 

Hey, have a heart, would ya, and cut those poor guys and their families some slack?

BTW, according to the Washington Post, George W. Bush once asked: “IS OUR CHILDREN LEARNING?”

Now he has an answer.  “CHILDRENS DO LEARN,” he said.

I kid you not.  The setting was an education event at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York where Mr. Bush was taking credit for advances students have made in the National Assessment of Education Progress. 

Bush was proudly citing the federal government report that showed improvements in math and reading among grade schoolers.  Mr. Bush said: “Report shows CHILDRENS do learn when standards are high and results are measured.”

Really, I thought Erap’s kanto boy English was atrocious.  Pero mas grabe itong si Bush.  Daig pa si Erap, eh.

Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD.  That’s Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.  This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.  As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over my car and decide my car needs washing.  As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.  I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can and notice that the can is full.  So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I am going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage, I may as well pay the bill first.  I get my checkbook, and see that there is only one leaf left.  My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go upstairs to my desk where I find a Cup o’ Kapeng Barako that I had been drinking.

I see that my coffee is cold, so I decide to go downstairs in the kitchen to put my coffee in the microwave to warm it up.  Then I head downstairs trying to remember what I was going to do.

Get the pattern?  If this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!  Growing older is mandatory.  Growing up is optional.  But laughing at yourself is THERAPEUTIC … so, I laugh at myself a lot. 

A study of elderly people suggests that those who see themselves as self-disciplined and organized achievers have the lowest risk for developing Alzheimer’s than people who are less conscientious.  And that social connections and stimulating activities, like doing crossword puzzles are preventive measures for this disease.

But according to researchers, for prevention, nothing beats reading and writing a column, like mine …  So, right on, I write on.  And YOU must read on.

Oh sh--!  I just remembered.  I left the water running in the driveway!  Gonna go.  Bye.

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Last Updated on Sunday, 04 November 2007 13:05

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"My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there."--Ron Richards