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Aug 23rd
Home Columns A Cup O' Kapeng Barako The David Petraeus’ Love Affair
The David Petraeus’ Love Affair PDF Print E-mail
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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Wednesday, 14 November 2012 19:01


Is It an Affair to Remember or an Affair to Forget, Thus to Cover Up the Benghazi Murders?


By Jesse Jose

A Cup O' Kapeng Barako

A merica loves sex scandals.


So once more, Americans are riveted to this extramarital sex scandal that features America's top spy, retired Army four-star General David Petraeus.


Y'all know the story, right?  The general and his mistress, named Paula, and as the story unravels, another woman named Jill, has come into the picture. And to complicate matters, another Army general, has also come into the picture.    


In other words, the plot of this story thickens.  And as it thickens, it sickens the self-righteous sensibilities of self-righteous Americans.




Is Petraeus, the protagonist or the antagonist of this story that resembles a plot of a Greek tragedy? Or, is he the sacrificial lamb in the BHO altar.  Y'all get my drift, Dear Readers?


To me, this is no tragic story.  To me, it's a comical and a phony (as in funny) kind of a story.  First of all, how in the world the CIA's top dog, supposedly an expert on keeping secret America's most highly-classified military secrets, easily got caught in a secret sex relationship? 


All it took was a "threatening" email of a past mistress to a prospective mistress of this highly-decorated war general and boom-boom-boom, the shock and awe bombardment of loose and wagging tongues begun. 


What do y'all think, Dear Readers?    


A SMOKE SCREEN TO THE BENGHAZI MURDERS: I think the loose tongues of the media (CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC, CBS) lapdogs of BHO are providing a smoke screen to the real issue that they should be talking about: the Benghazi debacle. 


I think this "Betray-Us" sexual affair with the female author of "All In," a book about a four-star General's dick being "all in" in her, IS the smoke screen.


I was in the military, and affairs such as this ain't no big deal.  I've seen it happened so many times.  Top brasses in the military had priority and had the best "pick" among the gorgeous, high class chicks that were available.  And the availability was always in abundance.  Those shiny brasses on military generals' uniforms are magnets in attracting classy women.


A CALL FOR IMPEACHMENT? There is a big cover-up here of something like the Watergate.  But this Benghazi cover-up, as we all know, resulted in four deaths, and therefore malevolent in nature.  Methinks, America may soon witness another historical impeachment proceedings on a President because of another BIG LIE told to the American people.


Well, we'll see. 


I heard there will be congressional hearings on this and names like that of John McCain, John Kerry, and many other senatorial "old timers" have been thrown around to conduct the inquiry. And Hillary Clinton and David Petraeus will be called on to testify. 


So, well, see.


SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN WASHINGTON STATE: In the meantime, let's dyok muna.  Here in my beautiful state of Washington, Referendum 74 (same-sex marriage) has been approved by the majority of voters. I voted for the approval of this referendum. 


I believe that there should be EQUALITY for all.  I believe that men and women should be free to marry who they want to marry.  I believe love is not merely confined between a man a woman.  Love can also happen, grow and blossom between two men, or between two women. And if same sex couples wish to "tie the knot," legally and civilly, in MARRIAGE, heck, why not?


Marriage is a LEGAL term in the union of same-sex couples.  The HOLY MATRIMONY is the term for us, Catholics, in this union between a man and a woman. That's where the big difference lies. 


But for many Catholics, especially my fellow members of the Knights of Columbus that I belonged to here in Washington, firmly believed that marriage should ONLY be between a man and a woman.  Because they said that's what the Bible says.  I said that the Bible shouldn't be read literally.  I argued that passages in the Bible are proverbs, and proverbs can not be interpreted literally. 


Back and forth, we argued. They were scandalized by my arguments.  My close friendship with a former Grand Knight of our Holy Family church was severed.  My fellow knights' self-righteous wrath collectively fell on me. They all wanted to tie me up to a stake and burn me.  Perhaps, IF they had the power to EXCOMMUNICATE me, they would have done it.  But only the Pope can do excommunications.


The approval of Referendum 74 was a blow to them. It's a clear defeat and rejection of their belief ... and so to tickle them out from their depression, I dedicate this dyok to them.  It's titled "The Nun and the Taxi Driver."  Here it is, Dear Readers and my fellow Knights of Auburn, enjoy:


A taxi driver picks up a nun.  She gets into the cab, and the cab driver couldn't stop staring at her..  She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."


She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you are as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.  Trust me."


"Well, I've always had the fantasy to have a nun kiss me."


She responds, "Well, let's see if you qualify.  Number one, you have to be single, and number two, you must be Catholic."


The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic, too."


The nun says, "Okay, pull up into the next alley."


He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy.  But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.


"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"


"Forgive me, sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess. I'm married and I'm Jewish."


The nun says, "That's okay, my name is Tom and I'm on my way to a costume party."


BTW, Dear Readers, this dyok was sent to me by a cyberspace friend named "tbd."  I have another Catholic dyok for my fellow Knights sent by a good friend, named RB, but my column is getting too long now, so next week na lang. So, okey ngarud, that's all.  JJ


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