I was reading the May 18, 2007, issue of Asia The Journal of Culture & Commerce and came across this gem of a double talk on page 20 of this tabloid-size paper edited by Len Novarro and co-published with Roz Carmen.

It seems that Roz and Len, who I came to know from the time Asia was being conceptualized, have found somebody in the Filipino community who can apprise their readers with the news and issues in that community.

For this, the paper is yielding space to a column whose title evokes evasion and malleability, thus: "the crouching bamboos". The slang meanings of the verb crouch vary, as in suck up to, kneel to or before, bow, be at (someone's) beck and call, among others. So that gives us a pretty good idea of who this is.

Anyway, while reading through I found out that the stated reason for the column's birth is not entirely truthful. The face and name behind the column is literally a pans-handler. It's not a joke.

Mr. Pans-handler explained that after being in San Diego for over a year now from some remote corner of Oxnard, he was confronted with a life-defining choice, a fork no less, and decided to take, in his own words, "the fork of healthy cooking".

"Before the passion on such a belief came about, however, I was a wordsmith, a photographer, an advertising man - a publishing morass if you may".

While the sense of his first three descriptions of himself is easily understood, the fourth one -- "a publishing morass" -- escapes my full discernment. I don't know if it's intended as a self-deprecating gesture to humble himself, but even if it is, the word meaning does not match the message he was trying to convey.

Morass rhymes with mores and morose. It also sounds like moron. What does he mean, a publishing moron or a publishing morose?

I thought it was a misspelling, but the guy claims to be a "wordsmith". So I tried to get another copy of Asia far from where I had secured my first in the hope it's been corrected and found it's the same. He's labeled himself "a publishing morass".

I really had a hard time searching for a meaning and since Roz and Len didn't seem to be bothered with it, then who am I to contest Mr. Pans-handler's claim to instant fame?

Len must have had the same difficulty but rather than divine that which is already clearly stated, he turned a blind eye and let it pass, perhaps hoping that none of Asia's diverse readers would take it seriously.

But I do take it seriously, Len, specially because the focus of Mr. Pans-handler is the Filipino community. That said, I believe it obliges me to react the way I'm doing now.

Len had been there and he knew that as one who had worked with the foreign press corps sometime ago, truthful, accurate and factual reporting was, and is, the way to do this business. Otherwise, your world audience will lose faith in you. Then your credibility and integrity as a journalist would crumble as would the news agency's.

That was the kind of professional upbringing I had as a foreign correspondent, first for about eight-plus years with Japan's no. 2 daily, the Asahi Shimbun; and second, for eleven years with one of the world's major wire agencies, the Hamburg-based Deutsche Presse Agentur.

And that brings me to the question of why I write this commentary. Yes, why?

Liporada was not telling the truth, and as a reader of Asia, it offends me. The paper is fast gaining the respect of the community and here comes this crap that basically mocks our intelligence. Is it his motive to lure readers to buy his pots and pans by making it appear he chose that business over another because of a claim -- unproven -- that it's the key to healthy cooking?

What he wrote -- and I quote: "I could no longer hold to both cookware business and publishing at the same time . . . " -- was a b.s. The path of the pots and pans that he has decided to follow was actually his only choice. There was no "fork" in the first place.

Publishing was not an option. The truth is, Liporada has been ordered to "cease and desist" from publishing his San Diego scrapbook version (size 13.5 x 11.5 inches) of Oxnard's popular non-profit community newspaper "Kapitbahay" (size 17 x 11.5 inches).

The trademark Kapitbahay and its logo, both registered in the State of California, are owned since 1991 by ATBP Corporation based in Ventura County, CA. Liporada is not even a member of its seven-man board of directors though he was the paper's past editor.

When he moved to San Diego from Oxnard, Liporada published a scrapbook of a paper of the same name, logo and appearance and quickly ingratiated himself with people of questionable motives and persuasions by putting out their self-serving pictures and fatuous claims of accomplishments. (Didn't I say earlier that one of the slang meanings of crouch is suck up to?).

That's the reason I call it a scrapbook. But that should not be confused with the legitimate, and readable, Kapitbahay of Oxnard, which is staffed by a competent and credible group of writers and hardworking volunteers.

When word reached Oxnard that Liporada was using the name and trademark, lawyers of Kapitbahay promptly informed him to stop or be hailed to court. That was the ignominious end of San Diego's shortlived scrapbook.

"While I have chosen the fork of healthy cooking, I could carry with me the bundle of journalistic prowess that I possess. Asia provides me the space . . ." Liporada wrote in the maiden issue of his "the crouching bamboos" column. Golly, the "wordsmith" can't even be original!

What journalistic prowess? I remember he says he's "a publishing morass". Besides, the only fork I could imagine is in his mouth.

Poor Asia. While looking for a decent writer, it stumbled onto a cook. And he's not even Chef Larry!

(This Breaking News datelined June 15, 2007, is written by Romeo P. Marquez as the editor of the Philippine Village Voice of San Diego, California.)