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Humor and Satire Koreans and Canadians Blamed for Rice Crisis? Mr. Pimentel's Comment on Direct Selling of Gov't Rice
| Koreans and Canadians Blamed for Rice Crisis? Mr. Pimentel's Comment on Direct Selling of Gov't Rice |
M
any Filipinos are blaming the Koreans and Canadians for the rice crisis in their homeland.
NEWS FLASH: On a serious note, here is the statement of Sen. Nene Pimentel on President GMA's order for direct selling of NFA rice: I favor direct selling by barangay-operated units. They know the people of their communities. Of course iwasan lang ang pamulitika. Also, there should be a drive against hoarding and profiteering in the rice business by people with access to government offices having to do with rice trading. Finally, the government should restart policy of production. That is the ultimate solution to the rice problem: self sufficiency, not importation.
Why the Koreans? Because folks say that the Philippine Department of Agriculture (DoA) officials’ favorite question involves supposedly the Koreans. As in, “Saan ang lagay Korean, oops, ko riyan?” (“Where is my kickback?)
Some wags and pundits blame,
however, the Canadians for the rice crisis. They argue that the DoA officials
do rampantly the practice of “kana dito, kana doon, kana diyan” when they spend
the budget appropriated for subsidizing the marginal rice farmers. “Kana” is
the Filipino colloquial term for “to rob” or “to cheat.”
There is no truth to the
rumor that President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (PGMA) has issued an Executive
Order (EO) banning the use of rice during weddings. The EO supposedly mandates
the use of banana or camote chips as substitute for the rice thrown at
newly-wedded couples. The latest EO supposedly allows the use of corn during
the weddings of not-so-funny comedians.
Anyone caught stealing rice from the people will be thrown in jail and will be fed rotten rice," President Arroyo allegedly said.
On the other hand Filipino agriculturists want the Americans to give the Philippines a new kind of an International Rice Research Institute (IRRI). Yes, the agri experts want the Americans to donate money to build IRRIgation canals. These experts said that without water, the IRRI’s miracle-rice strains would need really a miracle to survive the near-drought condition during the summer months.
There is also no truth to
the rumor that former President Joseph “Erap” Estrada has advised PGMA to tell
the people to eat “suman,” “puto” and other native delicacies if they do not
have rice to cook. When told that “suman” and other similar treats are
rice-based, ex-President Erap said that perhaps the people should then eat
bananas. Erap-bashers say, however, that the suggestion might lead to the Philippines becoming a true “Banana Republic.” Besides they say
that the country experiencing a “saging,” oops, sagging economy.
There are reports also that
the Arroyo Dispensation will obtain more rice from China. Some critics of PGMA said, however, that the
Chinese rice would have to be cooked Chinese style, i.e., Lutong Macao.
“Those who seek
to take advantage of our people must be stopped. I am leading the charge to
crack down on any form of corruption by public or private officials who would
divert supplies or pervert the price of this essential commodity in any
way," PGMA said.
"Anyone caught stealing rice from the people will be thrown in jail and
will be fed rotten rice," President Arroyo allegedly said.
Our
correspondent in Manila, Von Seyfried Rice (not related to American Secretary of State
Condoleezza Rice or to Media Breakfast Club Chairman Henry von Seyfried),
reported also that a new Left-Wing coalition called the KANIN has been formed.
The KANIN is the acronym for “Koalition Against Nepotism, Imperialism and
Neocolonialism.” The latest advocacy of Filipino activists cites nepotism (the
practice wherein in-laws of top DoA officials are also the rice distributors
and importers), American imperialism (for using surplus California rice as economic aid to further its control of the world's economic engines) and the dominance of the rice trade by California rice growers, which is equivalent to the neocolonial control of the world’s supply of the now-scarce staple. “Kanin” is also the Filipino word for “cooked rice.” # # #
PILAR, Bataan—US Ambassador to the Philippines Kristie Kenney said here today that the United States would send more rice to the country to help Filipinos cope with the problem of rising food prices and avert any shortage of the Filipino staple food.
Ambassador Kenney affirmed the United States' resolve to help the Philippines when she was interviewed by the media during the 66th anniversary celebration of the Araw ng Kagitingan this morning at the Mt. Samat Shrine in Pilar, Bataan.
"We are ready to make rice available as much as the Philippines needs," Kenney said.
Earlier, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo announced the importation of 50,000 metric tons of rice from the United States in addition to the 700,000 metric tons of the staple that would arrive within the next three months to beef up the country's inventory.
The Philippines has been traditionally sourcing the bulk of its rice imports from Vietnam to beef up the National Food Authority (NFA) inventory as global rice production is seen to fall this year below the global consumption level of 430 million tons.
To ensure stable supply and prices of rice, the President has ordered government agencies to increase the inventory of the cereal, crack down on hoarders to protect consumers, invest more in planting and agricultural modernization; and provide rice subsidies for the poor.
In a speech she delivered here, the President said her administration's near-term objective is to focus on decisive actions to put food on every table as the global rise in the prices of basic commodities like fuel and rice is putting a strain on all hardworking Filipinos, especially the very poor.
"Specific to the rice issue, we have an Action Plan, comprising three phases, to make sure our rice situation remains stable: First, is to secure supply; second, to ensure proper distribution; third, is to guarantee enforcement to protect of our people against price gouging and corruption," she said.
The President said that because of the economic reforms she initiated, the Philippines has become more resilient to face the challenges posed by the economic slowdown in allied countries, and the surge in the prices of oil and important food commodities such as rice.
"With this newfound stability, we are in a much better position to weather these economic and price pressures than ever before. That does not mean it lessens the pain on our poor when rice and gas prices increase, but we are able to help ease this burden," she said.
As sent by the Philippine Consulate General of Los Angeles, California
What? At the start of the week, President Gloria Arroyo was on top of Arthur Yap! This morning, she was on top of Jess Paras! Dati yung mestizong intsik. Ngayon, yun namang bigotilyo.
Let us please be careful about our idioms. They might become metaphors!
Ado Paglinawan
Washington, DC
(As posted also in several e-newsgroups@yahoo)
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