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Sep 29th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Filipino Fun Facts (Part 9): Still Looking for the Filipino Obama and Funding Presidential Campaigns
Filipino Fun Facts (Part 9): Still Looking for the Filipino Obama and Funding Presidential Campaigns PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Thursday, 12 March 2009 14:03

As this writer said in an earlier article, Filipino presidential aspirants are trying their best to be known as the Philippine version of Barack Hussein Obama. Seven presidential candidates were featured in Filipino Fun Facts (Part 6): Looking for the Filipino Obama


* Senator Francis “Kiko” Pangilinan was featured also as an Obama look-alike in Filipino Fun Facts (Part 7): More on the Escudero Visit to, & Tales about Filipino Senators in, L.A.  Former Sen. John “Sonny” Osmeña was mentioned also in it, as he has so many California-based supporters who hailed from his home province of Cebu.


* Our columnist, Ms. Amina Rasul, mentioned another Philippine presidential aspirant, Makati City Mayor Jejomar “Jojobama” Binay in her column, Forgetting EDSA I


* Perhaps Philippine Supreme Court Chief Justice (CJ) Reynato Puno – if he decides to run for President in the May 2010 elections – may like to copy this author’s term of endearment, Lolo (Filipino term for grandfather). CJ Puno is a grandfather himself, as stated in this article, Did Chief Justice Puno Endorse “Lolo Bobby's Apocalisto” Plan of “Reinventing” Politics?


B ut Grandpa Reynato may not like to copy Lolo Bobby’s moniker, as this author has been using it to mean, “Law and Order, Less government and Opportunities equally for all.” CJ Reynato may go for “Punobama.” Of course, his supporters from Pampanga will call him “FunoHobama.”


* All the supporters of the Filipino presidential aspirants want to back up their man (or woman candidate) by raising funds. As stated in Filipino Fun Facts (Part 6): Looking for the Filipino Obama Vice President Noli de Castro’s supporters intend to raise campaign funds by selling his biographical book, which Chicago-based CPA-Publisher Bart Tubalinal wants to call, "The Oddity Of a Dupe." The VP did not like Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao’s alleged suggested title, “Noli Me Tangangere.” (Editor’s Note: Mr. Bunao says that the author put words into his mouth and he cannot fight or bite back as he has false teeth.)


* US-based friends of Chief Justice Reynato want to sell jars of “MacaPuno” (young coconut) and donate the proceeds to his candidacy, if he decides to run. On the other hand, other CJ Reynato’s fans want the Chief Justice to do duets with singer Rico J. Puno (no relation) and call it the “Punong-Puno” CD or DVD.


* Friends of Francis “Chiz” Escudero want to peddle the “Chizproks” sunglasses – as Senator Escudero loves to wear a pair even indoors. The Escudero sunglasses are said to be the opposite of the so-called “photo-chromic” (Transition) lens that turn dark outside and become clear indoors. The “Chizproks” sunglasses turn dark indoors and become clear outdoors.


* Well, the supporters of Sen. Manny Villar intend to sell a game called, “Mannypoly,” which is similar to the “Monopoly” board game. Even if Senator Villar has all the manny, oops, money in the world, his US-based supporters still want to raise money for him.


* The supporters of Sen. Richard Gordon are reportedly coming up with a calculator called the “Plus Gordon.” It is actually a unique counting machine, as it does no subtraction, multiplication or division functions. It is the Gordon organization's possible answer to the “Dagdag, Bawas” (Add, Subtract) electoral fraud. The “Plus Gordon” adding machine will only do the “Dagdag, Dagdag” (Add, Add) function. After all, Ado Paglinawan, Senator Gordon’s man in Washington, DC, says “politics is addition.”


* On the other hand, the supporters of former President Joseph Estrada and his son, Sen. Jinggoy Estrada (a possible vice-presidential or even a presidential timber), want to sell Filipino versions of the so-called “Bobble Head” dolls. They say that the Estrada “Bobble Heads” will answer the critics’ claim that ex-President Erap and Senator Jinggoy have no “head” (AKA brains). Unlike the Gloria Arroyo doll, however, the Estrada doll will not carry any pin with it. To read again the Arroyo dolls, please click this link: “Gloria Dolls” Are Selling Like Hotcakes Among Overseas Filipinos


* Supporters of Sen. Mar Roxas will copy the Estrada fans by coming up also with a Roxas “Bobble Head” doll that they will sell to raise more campaign funds. It will be a talking doll and it will say, “Put_ng ina mo, Gloria.” It may become the first X-rated doll.

Editor’s Note
: Readers may like to browse a related article, Mar Roxas’ Presidential Ambition Goes Down the Gutter? and Jesse Jose’s “F” words, “N” Words, “C” Words; Bush Dodges Shoes Hurled at Him


S ome supporters of Senator Roxas want also to market a unisex T-shirt that they will trademark as “Super Mario/ia.” No, former Sen. Sonny Osmeña will not become the model for the “Super Mario/ia” unisex T-shirts.


* To increase their campaign kitty, supporters of Sen. Francis Pangilinan want to peddle a new soy sauce under the brand of “Kiko-man.”


* The supporters of Sen. Panfilo “Ping” Lacson initially decided to sell a special kind of bread called “Pan-Filopino” as fundraising item. This would have been similar to the “Obama Pan de Sal,” which Romy M. Marquez so eloquently described in these articles, Mayor Morrison and City Officials Launch the “Obama Pan de Sal”  and Filipino-American Bakery Comes Up with “Obama Pan de Sal”


H owever, critics of Senator Lacson called the bread named in his honor as “Pan-Filo de Leche” and “leche” is not a good Spanish derivative, as many Filipinos use it as a cuss word. So the Lacson supporters instead will market ping-pong balls that they will call “Simply Ping.” These Lacson fans, however, warn buyers that they could not sell to them the ping-pong racket in the Philippines, as First Gentleman Mike Arroyo has the monopoly of rackets in the homeland, even if he does not play lawn-or-table tennis.

* A former University of the Philippines professor, Cesar Torres, who now resides in San Francisco, CA, still expects his idol, Sen. Aquilino “Nene” Q. Pimentel, Jr., to become the presidential sweepstakes’ Dark Horse, who can unify many of the Opposition power blocks. Professor Torres wants to sell wooden clogs to raise money for Senator Pimentel’s possible presidential run. He will call them the “Bakya ni Nene,” so that he can tap also the so-called “Bakya Crowd” for support. However, Professor Torres’ best friends, Pep Red Vasquez and Jay Caedo, warned Mr. Torres that his “bakya” would be labeled “luma at kupas na” (old and faded) and it would not attract much pizzazz.


Editor’s Note: To read more of the “Bakya Crowd,”
please click on this link,
Filipino Fun Facts (Part III): Shoes in Philippine History


* And here is the crème de la crème of presidential fundraisers. Supporters of Sen. Loren Legarda intend to market an exclusive brand of ladies’ underwear that they will call, “The Victory’s Secret of Loren Legarda.” There is no truth to the rumor that former Sen. “Sonny” Osmeña will become the model, especially for the lingerie line of Victory’s Secret. Former Senator Osmeña says that he prefers to remain neutral in the 2010 presidential elections, as all the aspirants are his friends. Therefore, he will not agree to model any propaganda product.


T his reporter has still to hear from US-based supporters of the other presidential contenders such as Gov. Ed Panlilio of Pampanga, Mayor Jojobama of Makati City or the Gawad Kalinga’s head honcho Tony Meloto and the other presidential wannabes on their respective fundraising ventures. Perhaps another report about the said presidentiables’ (sic) fundraisers will appear in the next installment of this “Filipino Fun Facts” series. # # #


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Last Updated on Saturday, 14 March 2009 22:25

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