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Home Sections Humor & Satire G. Letterman’s Ten-Top Reasons Why President Obama Will Meet with Gloria Arroyo
G. Letterman’s Ten-Top Reasons Why President Obama Will Meet with Gloria Arroyo PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Goliath Letterman   
Thursday, 23 July 2009 17:47

T his writer, Goliath Letterman (obviously a nom d’ guerre) will now give his Top-Ten Reasons, nay, educated guesses why President Barack H. Obama wants to meet with Philippine President Gloria M. Arroyo at the White House on July 30, 2009. They will probably discuss:

 

10. How President Obama can learn to dance the Lambada with Mrs. Arroyo, as she infamously did at the Philippine presidential palace with visiting Hollywood actors.

 

9. How Mr. Obama can sing a Karaoke duet with Mrs. Arroyo, belt out “Don’t Cry for Me, Imeldita” and then discuss what to do with Madame Marcos, her confiscated jewelry collections and her 3,000 pairs of shoes.

 

8. What to do with the First Gentleman and his “muy rico” associates, who may be charged with violations of the Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt-Organizations (RICO) Act after June 30, 2010, among other counts.

 

7. How Mr. Obama can learn from the visiting Filipino leader’s success on  making members of Congress the lapdogs of the President.

 

6. How Mrs. Arroyo’s government will welcome the creation of a new American consulate general in Basilan Island with former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin appointed as its first consul general.

 

5. How to give political asylum for Mrs. Arroyo after June 30, 2010, and with some of her Cabinet members and generals being granted asylum in American mental institutions.

 

4. How some American leaders – like John Edwards, Los Angeles City Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, Nevada Senator John Ensign and South Carolina Governor Mark Sanders, to name a few politicians, Democrats and Republicans alike – can learn from Filipino politicians who have taken mistresses and yet were elected to national offices, including the Philippine presidency.

 

* Editor’s Note: Please read a related article,

 Ten Top Reasons Why Governor Sanford Went to Argentina 

 

3. How to invest properly in the United States by not buying shares of stocks in companies like Lehman Brothers and AIG, especially with funds looted from the Philippine treasury.

 

2. How to effect Change (“Yes, We Can Change America and the World”) in the Philippines by not just giving loose change to the poorest of the poor. And finally,

 

1. How to copy the successful marketing of Mrs. Arroyo’s “Gloria’s Laundry Soap” label by packaging and distributing the Philippine Coffea Liberica in the United States as “Kapeng Barack-O” brand, with the profits being donated to his 2012 re-election campaign chest.

 

* Editor’s Note: To learn more about the Philippine variety of Coffea Liberica, please read Allan Albert’s article, The True Story Behind that "Cup of Kapeng Barako"  # # #

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Last Updated on Friday, 24 July 2009 08:20
 
Comments (1)
1 Friday, 24 July 2009 05:39
Is "Goliath Letterman" the pen name of Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao?

Mr. Bunao has used before "Godo Hill," among other pen names.

Mar G. de Vera
L.A. Newsday Publishing

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