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Home Sections Humor & Satire George Foreman Is the Next Opponent of Manny Pacquiao
George Foreman Is the Next Opponent of Manny Pacquiao PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Goliath Letterman   
Sunday, 14 November 2010 09:44

 

A Satire by Goliath Letterman

 

B ob Arum thinks that Manny Pacquiao, his megastar-boxing champ of a client and ward, has run out of decent opponents. This was after now-Philippine Congressman Pacquiao demolished Antonio Margarito Saturday night (November 13th) in 12 ho-hum rounds at the Dallas Cowboys’ Stadium.

 

Unconfirmed reports say that Atty. Arum will bring back to the boxing world retired heavyweight champion George Foreman to face Manny Pacquiao at the Dallas Cowboys’ Stadium. The date is Saturday night, Feb. 5, 2011. It is the night before the 2011 Super Bowl, which will be held for the first time at the new Cowboys’ Stadium in Arlington, Texas.

 

To read a classic report on the Pacquiao-Margarito fight, please browse Bill Dwyre’s article in the Los Angeles Times in this hyperlink, Less is more with Pacquiao

 

A spokesman of Bob Arum’s Top Rank, Inc., who requested anonymity as he has not been authorized yet to reveal the details, says that the pre-Super Bowl event will be dubbed the “Pacquiao-Foreman Confrontasi (sic) at the Cowboy’s Stadium.” It will be set for 15 expectedly-bloody rounds. The term “confrontasi” is derived from the Bahasa Indonesian word for “confrontation.” Why use an Indonesian term will be revealed at the end of this report.

 

For the first time in boxing history, a series of massive Tailgating Parties will precede the “Pacquiao-Foreman Confrontasi” and the Super Bowl. Atty. Arum, Mr. Foreman and Congressman Pacquiao will introduce new food products at the “tailgate parties” that will be cooked so that boxing and football fans can sample them.

 

The new food items that will make their debut at the “Pacquiao-Foreman Confrontasi” are the Oscar de la Hoya Pancakes, the “Buenos Diaz” cereal of David Diaz, the Miguel Cottoage Cheese, the Antonio Margarito’s Margarine and Margarito’s Margarita, the Clottey’s Joshua-tree charcoal and the Ricky Hatton’s English beef patsies, oops patties.

 

The Arum spokesman hinted that several new varieties of flour and corn tortilla, tamales and other Mexican recipes will be unveiled at the tailgate parties and named after Juan Manuel Marquez, Erik Morales and Marco Antonio Barrera.

 

Reports say that the Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleaders will demonstrate the cooking processes during the tailgating parties at the “Pacquiao-Foreman Confrontasi.” To view the beautiful-and-sexy cooks, please go to this website, www.dallascowboyscheerleaders.com.

 

By the way, the longer name of the Feb. 5, 2011, showdown in Dallas is the “Pacquiao-Foreman Confrontasi at the Grill at the Cowboys' Stadium.” George Foreman will bring his prized grills (www.mygeorgeforemangrill.com) to face off Manny Pacquiao’s new line of cooking utensils reportedly under the trade mark “Pacquiao-Arum Collection of Multiuse Array of New (PACMAN) Grills and Pressure Cookers.” The Pacquiao-Arum Grills will be called in the Philippines as the “PACMAN Lutong Macao” line of barbecue and grilling equipment.

 

Yes, the Pacquiao-Foreman "Confrontasi" is a cook-off and cooking competition. It is not a boxing bout. Texas or any other state will not of course give a boxing license to Mr. Foreman, a retired heavyweight champ. He is too old for boxing. But George Foreman is just a tad older than what critics—like this website’s Columnist Jesse Jose—call Mr. Pacquiao’s recent opponents as “has-been” boxers.

 

Finally, why use an Indonesian term for the cook-off and cooking competition? The event will have its top-of-the-line and headliner of a barbecue. It will be called the Floyd Mayweather’s Sate Ayam. “Sate” is the Bahasa-Indonesian term for barbecue. And “Ayam” is the Indonesian word for chicken. # # #

 



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Last Updated on Sunday, 05 December 2010 15:05
 
Comments (3)
1 Monday, 15 November 2010 10:43
thanks tocayo for sharing that funny bit. i know that you are one of the best when it comes to satire so i am suggesting you write about this topic on pacquiao:

"poor 14-year old leaves home and sells doughnuts and sleeps on the streets of manila. through sheer determination and brawn he becomes world champion and undisputed record holder of 8 world boxing titles. he earns many millions and befriends powerful politicians and is elected congressman of his hometown.

after a few years, from worldwide popularity, he was elected the president of his country. one of his first acts as president was to arrest all the corrupt leaders of the country and throw them in prison, among them mrs. marcos and her children, FVR and his corrupt generals, erap and his sons, gloria and her husband and sons, chavit singson and his jueteng lords, pnoy and his sisters, the supreme court justices and all the corrupt judges and lawyers of the land, etc, etc, etc.

and the filipinos lived happily ever after."

Bobby Manasan

"Why independence, if the slaves of today will be the tyrants of tomorrow?" - Dr. Jose Rizal

"There is no worst tyrant than one who was only yesterday a slave." - William Faulkner
2 Monday, 15 November 2010 10:46
erratum: the correct william faulkner quote should read:

"No tyrant is more ruthless than he who was only yesterday the oppressed, the slave."

Bobby Manasan
Commonwealth of Virginia
3 Monday, 15 November 2010 14:44
LOLO Bobby,

Sa headline pa lang, I was already in the pit of LMFAO! Eh, kabog pala itong si "El Margarita." Ang laki-laking kabog. May I make a suggestion? Perhaps in the "menu," they should add, "Mexican Hot Dog Ala-Kabog." In honor of "El Margarita, the Patsy-ta."

So, as I've said, in a future Pakyaw's fight, I will, once again, bet my piggy bank full pennies. There were no takers on my bet.

Okey ngarud, take care now. BTW, I have a story for my Kapeng Barako column on this fight that's being concocted in my head right now. As soon as it's fully concocted, I'll put it down on paper and shoot it over to you. Gimme me a couple of days. Matanda na rin itong oven ko sa ulo ko, kasi eh. Kaya medyo matagal ng mag-concoct ng "halo-halo."

Jesse

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