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May 19th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Kissing Babies, Instead of Kissing Asses (Part One)
Kissing Babies, Instead of Kissing Asses (Part One) PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Wednesday, 19 December 2007 18:58



E arly yesterday morning (12/19/2007 1:41:38 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, to be exact), a wannabe writer posted in the NaFFAA_forum@yahoogroups.com this message for Bobby Reyes: “I consider the spectacle of people like you kissing the ass of our consul general despicable.” The writer is called by Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao by his alias, (AKA) “Dionesio Batongmaliit,” because allegedly the guy has a small mind. I also that many members of the Media Breakfast Club (MBC) have changed the Filipino idiom "Kuwarta na, naging bato pa" to "Kuwarta na, naging grava pa" in honor of our erstwhile friend, Dionesio.


It is a long story why this character, who is actually the distant nephew of the NaFFAA founder, started hating Bobby Reyes since 2002. (Perhaps if I find the time, I will write my educated guesses why his hatred has become more-than an obsession, if not the Filipino version of “Fatal Attraction.”) It has become his mission in life to hate and defame me; and he goes even after my guests (like Philippine Senator Nene Pimentel) who speak at the Media Breakfast Club of Los Angeles (MBCLA).


My writer-friends actually had tons of laughter at this latest ill-advised posting of Mr. Diony. Everybody knows that Bobby Reyes has even been called the “nemesis of Filipino consuls general” because of his role in preventing a consul-general nominee from occupying his seat at the Philippine Consulate General in Los Angeles (PCG-LA) in 1993. This was after then-President Ramos withdrew his nomination due to the public pressure created by the Los Angeles-based protesters. Bobby Reyes also spearheaded the recall of another consul general at the PCG-LA in 2003 and his removal was made despite the fact that the diplomat had more-than two years left in his tenure. In fact, Mr. Bunao said that he would probably write my biography and title it, “Born Against (Consuls General?)


"Keep your friends close and your enemies, closer" -- Don Vito Corleone

In fact at the reception hosted by the PCG-LA last Dec. 5, 2007, the Filipino trade attaché introduced me with a tint of humor to the newly-arrived deputy consul general (DCG) by saying, “This is the ‘troublemaker’ that I told you about, so just be careful with him.” I related to the DCG the query of a friend, who asked me, “Are you close to the consul general?” I said that I replied, “I am closer (sic) to the consul general.” Why? I kidded that the Philippine President issued allegedly a memorandum to the Filipino diplomats to keep the administration’s friends close and “enemies, closer.”


In reality, this activist has become an advocate of apolitical causes and concerns. He is trying to be a friend to everyone, including Mr. Diony and his sole defender, the perrytale writer. In fact, I have been practicing the art of winning friends and mending fences because I am supposed to be one of the OFW-led political party’s candidates for the 2010 national elections in the Philippines. My political handlers are advising me to start practicing how to kiss babies, do handshakes and smile a lot.


Now, some fellow writers are ganging up on Mr. Diony for supposedly insulting the diplomat, who happens to be the first Filipino woman consul general in Los Angeles. But another Bobby-Basher has defended Mr. Diony. (This proves that intellectual "misery acquaints man with strange bedfellows" and that simplemindedness loves company.)


Poor, Mr. Diony. He did not realize that in reality (according to an anonymous author), “Life is all about ass. People are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one; or worse, you live with one.”


I have written also on several occasions the exceptionally-brilliant advice of Enrique Zobel, then the Ayala Corporation chairman. Mr. Zobel, before he met what eventually became a fatal accident in a polo game, told the employees of an Ayala subsidiary in Kalimantan, Indonesia, a lesson. The adage was, “The problem with the word ‘ASSUME’ is that it makes an ASS out of U and ME.”


Well, certainly Mr. Diony assumed what Mr. Zobel advised against.


Perhaps in his infertile mind, Mr. Diony will try to get back at the members and supporters of the MBCLA, which holds a community forum every Wednesday morning at 10:30 a.m. at the FACLA Social Hall. Perhaps Mr. Diony may suggest that the MBCLA be renamed the “Ass Wednesday Club”? But then the MBCLA chaplain may object.


In the final analysis, Mr. Diony may have to kiss (pun intended) his writing career goodbye. After having his literary services terminated by the Ang Peryodiko, the Tribune USA and the Weekend Balita and now the Midweek Balita, Mr. Diony may probably end up writing only at the wall. But then it is illegal to be a graffiti tagger in many American cities . . .

 
(To be continued . . .)



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Last Updated on Friday, 06 September 2013 07:49
 

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