By Tom Seyer

Dateline Manila, Philippines, Dec. 28, 2010, Coconut News Network (CNN Kuno), 2010 “Niños Inocentes” Lampoon Edition

President Aquino Designates Mar Roxas as “First Friend”

M alacañang Palace announces today the appointment of former Senator Mar Roxas as the “First Friend.” It is a newly-created position in the Office of the President.

Mr. Roxas was the running mate of then-presidential candidate Benigno S. “Noynoy” Aquino, III, in the May 10, 2010, elections. He did not concede the election for the vice presidency to his closest rival and eventual winner, then-Makati City Mayor Jejomar Binay. Mar Roxas filed a protest with the Presidential Electoral Tribunal, as he disputed Mr. Binay’s proclamation as Vice President.

A Malacañang (Presidential) Palace spokesperson requested anonymity as the appointment of former Senator Roxas is still to be signed by the bachelor President. But the spokesperson said that the “First Friend” will assume, among other tasks, the duties and responsibilities of the Office of the First Lady, which is still vacant as the President has still to find a wife. # # #

Malacañang Announces Appointments of Envoys to the United States, Iraq and Afghanistan

T he Office of the President confirms the appointment of Jose Cuisia, Jr., as the nominee for the Philippine ambassadorship to the United States. He is a former governor of the Philippine Central Bank. It is expected that Ambassador-designate Cuisia will assume his post at the Philippine Embassy in Washington, DC, by the first quarter of 2011 after his confirmation by the Commission on Appointments.

Atty. Rodel Rodis, who lobbied to become the Philippine ambassador to the United States, was not disappointed. He was named the new Philippine ambassador-designate to Iraq. Nominated too as new consuls general for several cities in Iraq are Atty. Rodis’s former colleagues in the National Board of the National Federation of Filipino-American Associations (NaFFAA).

The new Filipino consuls general are Armando “Doy” Heredia for Tikrit, Jon Melegrito for Basra and Rozita Lee for Baghdad.

Former NaFFAA national Chairman Gregorio Macabenta was also nominated as the Philippine ambassador to Afghanistan. Ambassador-designate Macabenta will be joined by other former NaFFAA national executive officers Ben Menor (as the new consul general-designate for Kandahar) and former NaFFAA Treasurer Lourdes Corrales (as consul-general designate for Kabul).

T he presidential palace spokesperson said, however, that due to the limited budget of the Department of Foreign Affairs, the newly-designated envoys and diplomats to Iraq and Afghanistan will be sent to their diplomatic posts without bullet-proof vests, steel helmets, armored cars and bodyguards. # # #