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Home Sections Humor & Satire Michael Vick Can Never Be Guilty of "Dogmestic Violence" in the Philippines (As Updated)
Michael Vick Can Never Be Guilty of "Dogmestic Violence" in the Philippines (As Updated) PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Tuesday, 24 July 2007 09:22

Beleaguered Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has been found guilty on felony charges of sponsoring a dog-fighting business. Animal-rights protesters—led by the "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" (PETA)—are conducting rallies at the Falcons’ training facilities in Flowery Branch, Georgia. National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell terminated Mr. Vick's contract with the Falcons. In short, Mr. Vick’s football career and even his life are, to use an oft-quoted cliché, going to the dogs (pun intended).

News Flash: Dateline RICHMOND, VA, Dec. 10, 2007 (AP) - Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in prison Monday for running a "cruel and inhumane" dogfighting ring and lying about it.

The suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback could have been sentenced up to five years by U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson. Vick, who turned himself in Nov. 19 in anticipation of his sentence, was wearing a black-and-white striped prison suit.

After Vick apologized to the court and his family, Hudson told him: "You need to apologize to the millions of young people who looked up to you."

"Yes, sir," Vick answered.

* * * *

 

Los Angeles Times sports columnist Bill Dwyre writes a popular column. Today (July 24, 2007), his piece is entitled, "Former NFL lineman earns title of role model." (To read his latest and previous columns, please go to www.latimes.com/dwyre.)

Mr. Dwyre wrote this lead paragraph: "Sometimes, we chase the villains so hard, we run right past heroes." Mr. Dwyre was not defending Mr. Vick. He was telling the heart-warming story of Bruce Matthews, the former NFL lineman of a hero. Please read Mr. Dwyre’s column, so as to save me the task of retelling Mr. Matthews’ now-legendary exploits.

To paraphrase Mr. Dwyre, "Sometimes, we chase the dogeaters so hard, we run right past the baby killers."

This writer does not wish also to defend Mr. Vick, who has entered into a plea agreement with the prosecutors. But if I were Mr. Vick’s sports agent or business manager, I would really advise him to consider migrating to the Philippines after all the legal and league proceedings are done. Why the Philippines?

The Philippines is not only one of the most-beautiful countries in the world but is also part and parcel of the glorious history of the United States. It may be politically free but Filipino nationalists say that it remains an economic colony of the Americans. Mr. Vick will be at home in the Philippines. The Filipinos treasure the exploits of the more-than 6,000 Buffalo soldiers that America sent during the Filipino-American War from 1899 to 1901. At least 20 of the Buffalo soldiers defected to the Filipino Army and they died fighting for Philippine freedom and democracy. When peace was declared on July 4, 1902, by then President Teddy Roosevelt, more-than 1,200 of the Black-American soldiers stayed behind and married Filipino brides.

Mr. Vick, if he migrates to the Philippines, will become an instant national celebrity, especially since he would be bringing with him presumably his tens of millions of dollars in assets and fat bank accounts. He will be treated more-than a movie star and he could be one, even if he does not know how to act. In fact, many will bet that he would be invited immediately to the presidential palace in Manila, where the Philippine President would receive him like a conquering hero. She may even dance the lambada with him, as she did with visiting Hollywood stars.

But the perfect reason for Mr. Vick’s moving to the Philippines may be the fact that it is not illegal there to butcher dogs for the table. Dog meat is a delicacy in some areas of the Filipino homeland. In fact a few years back, I coined the term, "dogmestic (sic) violence." I defined it as the violent act of turning dogs into meat for the table.

And of course, the PETA does not have yet a branch or a subsidiary organization in the Philippines. How convenient it would be for Mr. Vick to reside in a tropical country, without any winter of discontent brought about by enraged animal-rights’ activists and hordes of hyperactive scandal-seeking media practitioners?

Mr. Vick could introduce a legalized version of dog-fighting business, which may yet replace cockfighting as the national pastime of many Filipino macho men. And like the vanquished roosters, the defeated warrior dogs could be cooked and even be served in some Filipino restaurants.

Michael Vick, the celebrated quarterback, could even become the Filipino-American version of Donald Trump and his Miss America Pageant. He could organize a "Reyna ng Vick’s" (Vick’s Queen) pageant, which is actually a favorite (phrase) of Filipino lovers of soap opera. (Editor’s Note: Non-Filipino readers may consult their Filipino friends about the humorous use of "Reyna ng Vicks" as a colloquial term.)

Sure, the PETA followers will condemn this proposal to Mr. Vick and curse the Filipino people for practicing "dogmestic (sic) violence" in some quarters of the Philippine homeland. But to paraphrase Mr. Dwyre, "Sometimes, we chase the dogeaters so hard, we run right past the baby killers." How come the PETA leaders have not organized a "People for the Ethical Treatment of Fetuses?" Do animals really have more rights than aborted human fetuses? Who treats ethically the aborted babies-to-be? That is the $64 question. # # #


 

Editor’s Note: Please read also a related article written by Jesse Jose in this hyperlink:

On Dogs, “Dawgs,” Mutts and Bulldogs, Shepherds and Yorkies

 



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Last Updated on Saturday, 15 November 2008 15:39
 

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