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Home Sections Humor & Satire NaFFAA’s “The Good, the Bud and the Ungodly”
NaFFAA’s “The Good, the Bud and the Ungodly” PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Bobby M. Reyes   
Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:15

W ell, well, now award-winning journalist Romeo P. Marquez is figuratively “locking horns” online with Greg Macabenta. Greg is the head honcho of the National Federation of Filipino-American Associations (NaFFAA). The “friendship” between the two gladiators goes that far when Mr. Marquez was the editor-in-chief of the Mabuhay Philippine News of San Diego, CA, and Mr. Macabenta was the provider of ads from his then-clients such as AT&T.

 

Eventually, Mr. Marquez emulated other Filipino-American media practitioners and called also Mr. Macabenta the “Lagareng Hapon.” Readers may have to ask Romy how and why the Filipino-American press dubbed Greg with that Japanese-sounding “term of endearment.” But surely, Romy has the proverbial literary horns, as he is plays often the role of a “Devil’s Advocate.” And as you know, many Filipinos Americans like Greg Macabenta as if he were one of their favorite grandchildren, many of whom are affectionately addressed by the grandparents with this idiomatic expression, “Why, you devil of a grandchild . . .”

 

Incidentally, there is no truth to the rumor that the NaFFAA will air a radio program in the KVTO AM station San Francisco. The talk show is supposed to be called, “Ka-hapon Lamang,” as co-hosted by Ka Greg Macabenta, Ka Rodel Rodis and Ka Ben Menor.

 

Is there truth to the rumor that the NaFFAA is said to be in a state of war (even the verbal or online version of hostilities)? This writer will try his best to sort out the rumors from the facts and discuss the kinds of membership that the NaFFAA allegedly has: “The Good, the Bud and the Ungodly.”

 

The Good Members

 

Of course, like many Filipino-American associations, the NaFFAA has lots of good members, especially in its Midwest and the Atlantic-Seaboard chapters.

 

Then there are stories about the NaFFAA’s “Bud” members. By the way, this article was supposed to been originally entitled, “How Romy Marquez Turned Greg Macabenta into a Screwdriver.” Here’s why . . .

 

Well, the latest flare-up in the NaFFAA started when Mr. Marquez wrote, Will the NaFFAA Survive to Be the 'Voice' For Filipinos in America? This led of a series of angry e-mails between the two “friends” that culminated in a “Screw you” one-liner from Mr. Macabenta to Mr. Marquez.

 

Well, this writer told Mr. Marquez that probably Mr. Macabenta was either busy enjoying his favorite Budweiser beer or a Screwdriver drink (orange and vodka, right?) And so, I told Romy that perhaps Greg was simply telling him to relax and enjoy a glass of Screwdriver. But in his haste, Greg wrote a shortcut to “Mix yourself a Screwdriver,” which was “Screw you.” So, I told Mr. Marquez to be like me, a man who has no known enemies but only friends (ahem) and forgive the inadvertent typographical error in Mr. Macabenta’s e-mail.

 

And speaking of a Screwdriver’s alcoholic ingredient, there is no truth to the rumor that Mr. Macabenta’s marketing whiz, Ms. Lorna Dietz, loves to drink Russian vodka because she is partly Russian in ancestry. It is not true that she is a distant relative of the celebrated Russian cosmonaut, Yuri Gagarin.

 

The Bud Members

 

As many people know, Mr. Macabenta and his Bud-loving friends live and work in the Bay Area of Northern California. But there is no truth to the rumor that Apo Ernie Gange, the Filipino pundit of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, called Mr. Macabenta’s circle of friends the “Greg’s Golden-Gate Gang” (G-4). What Apo Ernie e-mailed Ms. Dietz was for her and her clique to go “jump off the Golden Gate Bridge,” after the pundit got angry with her e-mail that attacked Dr. Joy Bruce, Dr. Ernie Ramos and the Apo himself. You can read part of the “Golden Gate” story – as part of the NaFFAAgate and the Menorgate – in Romy Marquez’s NaFFAA Cofounder Tells Ruling Clique Members to “Jump Off the Golden Gate Bridge” 

 

Then there is the rumor that Apo Ernie was really that upset and that he promised to lead what is now called the “Truth Brigade” to Chicago, where the Midwest chapter of the NaFFAA is scheduled to hold its regional convention from Sept. 4-6, 2009. Is the report true that Apo Ernie and his supporters want to make the said convention the NaFFAA’s equivalent of the classic-cowboy film, “High Noon,” and even the federation’s version of the “Gunfight at the OK Corrales, oops, Corral?” (I always inadvertently type in the family name of my dear friend, the ever-beautiful and sexy Lourdes Corrales, the NaFFAA national treasurer.)

 

Is there truth to the report of a suggested nom de guerre for the Philadelphian, Apo “Gary Gange,” as Mr. Cooper was the star of “High Noon”? Well, if that were true, then Ms. Corrales can play the role of the NaFFAA version of Grace Kelly, Gary Cooper’s co-star in that classic movie. (Yes, Grace under fire . . . )

 

Then I e-mailed also my friends in Chicago about the proverbial gunfight at the OK Corrales, oops (again), Corral, as I was trying to verify if Don Azarias might play the role of Doc Holliday. Perhaps, publisher Bart Tubalinal and/or columnist Jesse Jose, might play the role of Wyatt Earp, as both Filipino-American friends call each other, “Erapok”?  Yes, imagine, a Don Holliday and a Wyatt Erapok at the coming NaFFAA convention in Chicago.

 

Here are more late-breaking developments from Chicagoland:

 

* There is an unconfirmed report that Ms. Lourdes Ceballos, the president of the Philippine National Press Club-Midwest chapter, is rallying her press-club members and friends, especially her fellow dentists, to support the Truth Brigade. The report said that Ms. Lourdes, a retired dentist and Dental Board topnotcher, will name her support group the “Tooth Brigade.” Is this a case of putting more teeth in, and to, the Truth Brigade?

 

* Another report says that Chicago’s Mr. Debonair (AKA Jesse Farrales) wants also to support Apo “Gary” Gange’s Truth Brigade. Jesse and his associates – who often wear the ubiquitous state-of-the-art wireless-protocol device – want to name their support group the “Bluetooth Truth Brigade.” Perhaps, Ms. Ceballos has exerted her influence on Mr. Debonair’s group to support Apo “Gary” Gange’s coming showdown with the G-4 clique?

 

This writer will verify the accuracy of the said reports about the formation of Chicago-based support groups for Apo Ernie’s advocacy.

 

The NaFFAA’s “Ungodly Members”

 

T he term is really a misnomer, as almost all of the NaFFAA members are good Christians or good Muslims. Perhaps, the term was coined because some of the NaFFAA members continue to sing at Karaoke bars or at private residences even at ungodly (sic) hours?

 

However, Ben Menor appears to be invoking the name of God in his quest to obtain total redemption after his misadventure with the criminal-and-civil-justice systems at the County of Alameda. He is one of the NaFFAA’s pillars at its Northern California chapter.

 

Please read this article, Menor Launches Online Offensive (“The Aw-shucks Redemption of Ben Menor”) 

 

Mr. Menor now invokes the name of the Almighty even in his Internet postings. He believes correctly that there can be no redemption without the help of the Almighty.

 

There is no truth, however, to the rumor that Mr. Menor is organizing the “Golden Gate Gospel Group,” which some G-4 members allegedly call the “G-4 II.” There is also no truth to the report that it is also described as the “Second Coming of Menor-de-edad” (AKA “The Coming of the Second Childhood in Christ.”)

 

This writer objects to the practices of some of Mr. Menor’s detractors who make fun of his supposed miracles performed in San Jose: How he made hundreds of thousands of dollars disappear at the Northside Community Center and reappear at the NaFFAA convention in San Jose and then disappear again – without incurring the ire of the law and the City Council. Because it is only God and his Redeemer Son (and the NaFFAA gods) who know what happened to the missing funds. It is indeed not right and certainly not funny to crack those “miracle” jokes.

 

A nd finally this writer objects vehemently to the other joke that there won’t be a need for a caterer the next time the NaFFAA will hold a convention in Northern California. The joke says that Mr. Menor will just feed the multitude of delegates with two loaves of bread and five fishes. And he will turn water into wine. Or Bud Light? Or Screwdriver drinks?

 

Yes, our Brother Ben is entitled to have absolute peace with his God, seek redemption and not be the butt of jokes. Romy Marquez and I will drink to that. Amen. # # #

 

  

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Last Updated on Thursday, 13 August 2009 16:34
 
Comments (3)
1 Friday, 14 August 2009 11:48
Lolo Bobby,

That was a superlative satire. You are a genius. I laughed and laughed all the way to the end. I really had a jolly good fun reading the whole thing, especially about the "clowns" of NaFFAA. Thanks for the laughter, Lolo.

More power to you.

Jesse Jose
Seattle, WA
2 Friday, 14 August 2009 18:11
Bobby's forte is embarrassing his foes and critics through his superb satires! That's his trademark and no one should accuse him of plagiarism -- not enclosing certain expressions in quotation marks!

BT
3 Saturday, 15 August 2009 14:07
LOL Bobby,

Okay, I'll invite our NPCers and dentists to a "tooth to tell" brigade in support of Apo Ernie Gange who is coming to Chicago to extract the truth re NaFFAA. Teeth are good for both greeting and grinning, and will be used to strike a balanced bite, in the best traditions of oral and moral prophylaxis.

Good or Godly "budding" leaders in NaFFAA should study the Gospel truth that MabuhayRadio preaches. Delegates to NaFFAA ought to take the food for thought at the convention with a grain of salt. Why swallow hook, line and sinker ? Truth pulling can be fun.

I know that our top online Fil-Am journalists have been consuming a lot of "bytes" at each other about using cliches and trite phrases, but it is so tempting, the use of teeth to taste all the good in NaFFAA's bud lights.

Mabuhay !

Lour

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