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Sep 28th
Home Sections Humor & Satire One-Liners About Barbies and Barbarians
One-Liners About Barbies and Barbarians PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Friday, 16 November 2007 04:04

After reading Bobby Reyes’ “The Barbarians at the NaFFAAgate”, Mar G. de Vera said that the NaFFAA national treasurer, Ms. Lourdes Corrales, should be called “Barbie” and not a barbarian, as she is a woman. The NaFFAA is the acronym for the National Federation of Filipino-American Associations. In fact, Mr. De Vera, a Los Angeles-based writer and book author, says that it would be an act of chivalry to call the female NaFFAA national executive officers (NEOs) as “Barbies,” instead of “barbarians.”

Well, there is no truth to the rumor that Ms. Corrales is writing a children’s book called, “Valley of the Barbie Dolls.” But to think that supposedly Ms. Ludy’s costume at a NaFFAA party last Halloween was a Filipino version of Ms. Barbie Streisand, was it?

And isn’t former NaFFAA national Chairwoman Loida Nicolas Lewis called “CinderLoida” and not “Barbie, the First”?

There is also no truth to the other rumor that the new NaFFAA national slogan is “Que barbaridad?”

Is there truth to the rumor that San Francisco’s Atty. Rodel Rodis is now writing a script for a “Moro Moro” (AKA Comedia) about “Unan, the Filipino Barbarian”? Supposedly the story is about a barbarian who always falls asleep on his right, as he is uneasy sleeping on his left side. Like Rodel, the Barbarian prefers also his “unan” (Filipino word for pillow) to be made of feathers that were plucked from a flock of birds of the same feather fleecing the federation together?

There is no truth either to the rumor that Doy Heredia, the NaFFAA chief of stop, oops, staff, who has reportedly not paid his salary for nine months, will now resign. The report said wrongly that Mr. Heredia would just own and operate a barber shop and that he would call the small talk in his new business venue as “Kuwentong Barbaridad.”

There is also no truth to the rumor that a NaFFAA cofounder, who has been reported to have become a compulsive gambler in Reno and Las Vegas, has turned to horse racing. The report said that he planned to buy a race horse that is a distant cousin of “Barbaro,” the champion of a race horse that was recently put to death for the leg injury that it suffered. The horse of the NaFFAA cofounder would be called, “Barbarya,” after the Tagalog word, “barya,” meaning loose change. The report said also that Jon Melegrito, who is a midget – both from the physical and moral viewpoints – and whose services could be had for loose change, will be trained to become its jockey. Why? Is there truth to the rumor that Jon is used to receiving loose change? After the NaFFAA’s more-senior corrupt NEOs have fleeced the federation’s treasury, what is left is loose change and that is what Mr. Melegrito gets?

Is it true that the favorite prescription drug of the NaFFAA NEOs is Barbiturate?

As people know, Barbiturates are drugs that act as central nervous-system depressants, and by virtue of this they produce a wide spectrum of effects, from mild sedation to anesthesia. Why the NaFFAA NEOs are prescribed Barbiturates? Because many of their NEOs who write newspaper columns like Rodel Rodis, Greg Macabenta, Lourdes Ongkeko, et al,  belong to a media organization called, the “Philippine DePRESSed Club of America.

{ice 68 -link} Is there truth to the rumor that the NaFFAA NEOs are introducing a diet called the “Low-Barb”? It consists supposedly of eating only barbecued items like low-sodium chicken feet (called “Adidas” in the Philippines), chicken head and chicken wings. The diet supposedly works by presenting to the dieter unappeatizing food morsels, so as to cut down the calorie intake without really trying. Yes, just as unappetizing like the NaFFAA.

Why is chicken the favorite food of the NaFFAA NEOs? We do not know but Bobby Reyes says that they “chicken out” and refuse to sue him for libel for his year-in, year-out bashing of them as “crooked leaders of the clique that couldn’t shoot straight.” Why, Bobby included many of the NaFFAA NEOs in his article, “Why Did the Filipino Chicken Cross the American Road?”. # # #

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Last Updated on Friday, 22 February 2008 07:50

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