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Aug 13th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Sex, Lice and Videotape
Sex, Lice and Videotape PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Bobby M. Reyes   
Sunday, 31 May 2009 08:14

T here is the current brouhaha over the sex scandals, as videotaped by a Filipino cosmetic-surgery doctor, Hayden Kho (who himself stars in the video). The Hayden-Kho affair has become the talk of the country (as well as the Overseas-Filipino communities). Well, there are (humorous) reports that Doctor Kho’s exploits will soon be turned into a movie. The proposed cinematic project is said to have this title, “Sex, Lice and Videotape.”


It is said to be the Filipino version of the Hollywood flick, Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989),  as directed by Steven Soderbergh. With James Spader, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher. A sexually repressed woman's husband is having an affair with her sister ...



W hy are the Filipino movie producers using the word, “Lice”? Because nowadays, pundits and wags in the Philippines have renamed the lice in the pubic hair as “Kho-to,” naturally in honor of Dr. Hayden Kho.


Wags refer also to Dr. Kho as the Filipino version of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hayde...n”


But there is no truth to the rumor that Filipino thespians will soon do a musical version of Jekyll & Hyde (musical) - Wikipedia, the free ...

Jekyll & Hyde is a Broadway musical based on the novel, The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.


In the musical (if it ever comes off the drawing board), Dr. Hayden is supposed to sing like a canary and tell his sexploits with his harem . . .


The Jekyll-and-Hayden musical will open with this Filipino patriotic song, “Ang Bayan Kho . . .”


Well, some Filipino senators—who have nothing else to do—have decided to investigate Dr. Kho and possibly recommend that he be stripped of his clothes, oops, medical license. But Dr. Kho has started to play the game of “Hayd. ..en Seek.” He does not want to have more appearances before the senators at the august hall of the Philippine Senate.


Pundits say that the most-famous of some 40 (or more) sex partners of Dr. Hayden is his boss, Dr. Vicki Belo. Reports say that soon Dr. Hayden will release his “sex video” with Dr. Vicki. But the lady cosmetic-surgeon’s public-relations handlers say that the video will not be released, as releasing it will amount to a Belo-the-belt type of publicity.


Actually, Dr. Hayden is of Chinese ancestry and his elders were said to be part of the Kho-mintang party, the leaders of which fled to Taiwan in 1949 after they lost the civil war to Comrade Mao . . .


And like the Kuomintang, Dr. Kho is also a lost cause . . . and the Philippine Medical Board will probably change his license to the Medical Bored, as his sexploits (sic) will become that boring pretty soon . . .


Chairman Mao was said to have been surrounded by virgins while many of Dr. Kho’s partners are said to need virgin coconut oil, if not facelifts, to look like elder sisters, if not aunts, of the Chinese leader’s young women . . .


A nd finally, we at the wanted at first to ignore Hayden Kho and his sexploits (sic) but our columnist, Jesse Jose (yes, that Jesse Jose) started to roast like his favorite Kapeng Barako Dr. Hayden, Sen. Bong Revilla and Company. To read again, Ka Jesse’s very-funny but socially-relevant column, please click on this hyperlink, Why Do Filipinos Talk About the Kho-Halili Sex Video Instead of Foreign Pedophiles, the “Abortion Doctors” and the Arroyo Corruption Scandals? 


In the end, Filipinos will forget easily the brewing Kho-Halili and other Kho-to-laced sex scandals but Ka Jesse Jose (and Filipinos) will still be enjoying their Kapeng-Barako brew . . .


Then the brouhaha will end up as brewhaha (sic) . . . Ha, ha, ha, as former University of the Philippines Professor Cesar Torres likes to end his online postings. # # #


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Last Updated on Monday, 29 June 2009 13:39
Comments (3)
1 Sunday, 31 May 2009 13:35
Hi, Bobby:

Your lampoon is right on the money.

Keep it up!

Thanks and take care.

Journal Group Link International
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2 Sunday, 31 May 2009 13:37
Ang galing mo talagang mag-titillate, Bobby.

Baka talunin mo si Kho. Iyong Kho na iyon, tanungin mo kung kayang mag-titillate ng Butanding para hindi malagay sa Endangered Species para manganak ng marami. Okay lang iyong na gawing Pelikula siya while saving the Butandings from extinction. Matutuwa sina Howie Severino at Ipat Luna.

Cesar Torres
San Francisco, CA
3 Tuesday, 02 June 2009 05:32
NOTHING spectacular really about the video.

The highway that stretches from Quezon City to Pasay City is peppered with four- storey-high billboards that display the various stage of undress of female and male models.

Hype lang ang video...


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