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Aug 23rd
Home Sections Humor & Satire Steakhood Movement (Part Two)
Steakhood Movement (Part Two) PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Friday, 13 April 2007 06:01

The proposal for a Steakhood Movement (in replacement of the Statehood Movement) has generated lots of feedback (pun intended, as obviously many people like to be fed with beef, if not steak). Please read on . . .

From Jesse Jose of Seattle, WA:

 

Hello Bobby,

 

Thanks for this.  I really enjoyed it.  I laughed so hard while reading it.  You're a genius.  You're a Jay Leno/Dave Lettermen/Jon Stewart rolled into one.  If only it could truly happen, all the ILLS of the world could be solved simply by eating STEAKS.    

I love to eat steaks.  I take mine medium rare, with A1 Sauce.  My favorite is the Applebees House sirloin.  So, if you have any plans on reviving the Steak Commando Movement, please count me in as a member. 

Mabuhay ngarud, tayong mga Steak Commandoes.

Ka Jesse 

--------------------------------------------
From Arnold of Chicago:

Dear Mr. Reyes:

A sense of humor is always good . . .

Thanks!
Arnold dV


--------------------------------------------
From Romy Marquez of San Diego, CA:

Bakit kaya hindi "Bistek Commandoes" para tunay na Pinoy? Haluan ng maraming sibuyas at medyo pini-prito pa ng kaunti yung karne ng baka na kagaya ng luto doon sa Cavite! Sasali ka ba? Tunay yan - Bistek Commandoes.

Romy M

--------------------------------------------------

From a Filipino-American physician:

Dear Bobby,

A steak in every table in the Philippines will cripple the economy.  Why?  There will be a sudden explosion in cases of gout and medical care is expensive.  Gout is a crippling disease, may destroy the kidneys, and cause severe acute joint pains.  Also cholesterol increase in every steak-eating Filipino will cause more high-blood pressure, coronary heart disease and strokes.  May be this will the best solution to reduce the exploding population.

Your doctor is correct.

Na

----------------------------------------------

From Ms. Lourdes Ceballos of Chicago:

 

Guys,

Steak sounds savory, movement or morsel. Specially
Filipino steak, called  "bistek" or beef steak,
sauteed with toyo, onions, garlic and maybe a crushed
tomato, unlike the Kano style, but just as good. But
Pilipino preference may be adobo. A hog, a carabao, a
chicken not a cow in a home is the popular taste.

But talking of statehood, I wrote in the MegaScene a
little about it last August, after Bart lifted the
topic from cyber talks. I don't have a copy just now
of the published version, but I also did a corollary
write-up about Bartolome Cabangbang, a strong advocate
of Statehood.

Back to steaks, if fish steak is possible, that would
be the best.

Lourdes

-------------------------------------------

From Ogie Reyes of Cebu City, RP:

 

Once in a while we need some kind of delicious comic relief. This one
sure qualifies. Thanks for cooking one for us, Bobby. - Ogie

 

--------------------------------------------
From kapihan@.com :

chuckles...


----------------------------------------------------
From Bob Manasan of Virginia:

"Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air."
Thomas Gray (1716-1771)

dear tocayo,
you can give dave barry a run for his money.  wanna try the washington post
or the new york times?
thanks and best wishes,
bobby

 

 

Part Two.

The responses to my "Steakhood Movement" proposal were just terrific.

Engr. Ed Navarra, the NaFFAA regional chair for the Midwest (and my best friend in Michigan), contacted me by online i-message and he said that he liked the idea of launching the Steakhood Movement. But he suggested that we call it the "Bulalo Movement."

Engr. Alfred Gilo of Panama City, FL, called and pledged his support. He said that he would organize a "Steak Commando" force in his hometown of Dingras, Ilocos Norte. Alfred introduced some improvements in the movement's plans and programs. He recommended that we change the slogan from "Steak in every Filipino table" to "Steak on every Filipino plate." And he said that by changing it to plate could mean the revival of a Filipino ceramic industry to produce chinaware and other ceramic products. Alfred also said that cow dung not only produces fertilizer but the dung itself could be burned to produce electricity. Imagine, the Statehood Movement solving the energy requirements of the country. The raising of tens of millions of cows may translate into energy independence for the country.

Reader Alfred Gilo recommended that we change the slogan from "Steak in every Filipino table" to "Steak on every Filipino plate."

Then I was invited by Fred Burce Bunao, the founding president of the Philippine-American Society of Pundits, Humorists and Wags (PASPHAW), to the society's monthly meeting. The agenda was the Steakhood Movement. The PHAWs received me like a conquering hero and there were a few signs that said, "Bobby Reyes for President." ("President" of what country or club they did not tell me.)

Mr. Bunao said that adopting the cow as a country's symbol would be a lot better than the Republican's donkey or the Democrats' elephant. It would be even better if a bull (instead of a cow, with apologies of course to the Women's Liberation Movement leaders) were the country's symbol to perk up the nation's economy. Imagine the Philippine economy being bullish all the time (pun intended). Then we proceeded to brainstorm ideas for the Steakhood Movement (SM).  But then I told Mr. Bunao that if Filipinos would make golden statues of the cow and even worship them, God may send Moses again and destroy them, together with the tablets where the Ten Commandments were written.  Mr. Bunao assured me that the Almighty would not mind some Filipinos becoming irreverent for as long as they do not become irrelevant to the needs of the times.

 

Fred Burce Bunao said that adopting the cow as a country's symbol would be a lot better than the Republican's donkey or the Democrats' elephant.
H ere are some of the bright ones that I discussed with the PHAWs:

The SM would even reinvent Filipino idioms. For instance, "baka sakali" would now be "siguradong baka." The Filipino people would, therefore, be more confident in dealing with life-and-death situations, as  there will be no more "sakali" idioms to be used.

The SM would solve corruption in the Philippine government. When politicians for instance would ask public-works contractors for their cut, they would be asked what prime cuts they prefer: Sirloin, T-bone, prime rib, etc. The colloquial Filipino term for bribery "kawatan" would now be spelled, "cowatan" and it would be harder of course for politicians and crooked public servants to be hauling cows or prime cuts as bribe payments (than the usual envelopes stuffed with cash).

The SM would be able to help Filipino socioeconomic whiz kids persuade the country's policy makers to concentrate on reaching economic targets, as there will be lots of bull's eyes to hit. On the other hand, politicians would be embarrassed not to help the countryside by spending their Countryside Development Funds, so as to seek ways and means of gathering the millions of tons of cows' and bulls' sh_t, so as to produce methane gas to power city buses, etc., and etc. At last the country's politicians will have all the necessary sh_t to gather and dispose.

The SM would be able to help the Philippine tourism industry. With hundreds of millions of cattle being raised, all towns in the Philippines can be local versions of Pamplona, Spain, and have the "Running of the Bulls" as a weekend tourist attraction on a year-round basis.

The SM would also reinvent song writing in the Philippines. The Tagalog ditty, "ikaw ang aking panaginip" would now become "Icow ang aking panaginip" and, therefore, raise more demand for beef.

From the viewpoint of medicine, the Philippines would now be able to export natural substitute for Viagra and other similar drugs. Cow parts, which are ingredients for "Soup Number Five (S#5)," if not the soup itself, can be canned and exported. Campbell Soup will have a run for its money, especially if former President Bill Clinton could be persuaded with the right monetary consideration to endorse the Filipino S#5 as its corporate spokesman. In the manufacture of steak sauce, the A-1 brand may not fare well against a Filipino sauce that will be loaded with S#5 ingredients. The Filipino steak sauce could be marketed as "Ewan" brand and make Visayan-American consumers at home.

The country will have also tens of millions of cow tails that, once dried, can become effective fly swatters. The thousands of Filipino penitents during Holy Week can have also the cow tails to whip themselves as penance for their sins. Yes, cow tails can make the Philippines cleaner, both from the environmental and religious viewpoints.

"Wow," the PHAWs and I exclaimed at the end of the brainstorming session. But then one PHAW said that it could be like the "WOW" slogan of the Philippine-tourism industry. The wag said that it could mean as "Waste Of Wesources" (sic). # # #


Editor’s Notes: To read the other articles in the series, please click on these hyperlinks:

 

Steakhood Is Better than Statehood

  

U.S. Marines Follow Advice Given in “Steakhood Movement” Article

 



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Last Updated on Friday, 02 January 2009 10:26
 

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