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Jun 25th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Ten Top Reasons Why Governor Sanford Went to Argentina
Ten Top Reasons Why Governor Sanford Went to Argentina PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Bobby M. Reyes   
Thursday, 25 June 2009 16:03

T his writer did not like the Ten Top Reasons why Gov. Mark Sanford went to Argentina, as read by David Letterman last night in his top-rated Late Show. So, this list was done to make up for the show’s lackluster version, as composed by Mr. Letterman’s writers . . .


10.  Governor Sanford wanted to find an Argentine translator of the books that he has written, he “being a bookish husband who wanted to get away so he could think and write” (per the statement of his wife, South Carolina’s First Lady Jenny Sanford).


9.  Being an unconventional politician, Governor Sanford wanted to become a conventional one and where else would he learn best than in the land of Juan and Evita Peron.


8.  He wanted to sing in a Buenos-Aires Karaoke club, “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina.”


7.  He wanted to learn the Argentine Tango in the very dance floor where it started.


6.  He wanted to verify if Latin – aside from Spanish – is also spoken in Latin America.


5.  As Argentina is one of the world’s top producers of corned beef, Governor Sanford wanted to see how the Argentine “corned beef with cabbage” recipe is done.


4.  As there are so many Argentines of Italian descent, Governor Sanford wanted to know if the Italian-Argentine community has connections to Tommy Lasorda of the Dodgers and other Italian-American celebrities, who could help him raise campaign funds in Hollywood in 2012.


3.  To prove that then Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s indiscretion was a dumb act, as any transgression in a foreign country would not be a violation of the laws of the United States or any state law.


2.  To prove that then President Bill Clinton’s misadventure was a dumber act, as Governor Sanford did not deal with an intern and she was not even an American citizen.


1.  And finally, Governor Sanford’s trip to Argentina was his personal contribution of an economic stimulus for the floundering airline industry. # # # 


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Last Updated on Friday, 26 June 2009 11:10

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