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Dec 09th
Home Sections Humor & Satire The Filipino-American “Neitherworld”
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Bobby M. Reyes   
Friday, 07 January 2011 18:22

 

Part One of a “Neitherworld” Series

 

The Filipino-American “Neitherworld” Can Also Be Dubbed the “Fil-Am ‘Noranderthal’ Universe”

 

'Pex Aves is neither a lawyer nor a journalist' – Romeo P. Marquez, as stated in the hit, YouTube Newsvideo of Pex Aves, the Filipino Impostor of a “Lawyer” and “Journalist” in Los Angeles

 

T he “Neitherworld” part of this satire's title is not a typo. It is a new word that I coined after Toronto, Canada-based multi-awarded Journalist Romy Marquez inspired me to do it. Of course, the coinage was motivated also by the word, “netherworld.”

 

Per the http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/netherworld the

“neth·er·world” (noun \-ˌwərld\) has three meanings:

1. The world of the dead;

2. The underworld (As in “the netherworld of deceit … and espionage — R. M. Nixon”); or

3. No-man's-land (As in “lost in a bureaucratic netherworld”).

 

Now let me explain the subtitle. If there are American homo sapiens of Filipino descent, then the “Noranderthals” are probably the “Filipino Neanderthals” in the United States. OK, ngarud? But why? Sooner or later, they will become extinct like the Neanderthals.

 

Probably these Filipino-American “Noranderthals” have smaller brains, and therefore, have lower I.Q., than the Neanderthals. But surely, megastar of a singer Nora Aunor is not one of them and she is neither a drug addict nor an alcoholic.

 

Examples of the Denizens of the Filipino-American “Neitherworld”

H ere are the prime examples, especially when construed from Richard Nixon’s use of “the netherworld of deceit . . .”

 

Mr. Marquez described the perfect example of Pacifico Aves, who is “neither a lawyer nor a journalist.” As I said, “Pinabili lang ng avocado at pagbalik ay abogado na” (He was merely asked to buy avocado and when he returned, he was already a lawyer). As for Mr. Aves being a journalist, both Romy Marquez and I said, “Pinabili lang ng suka at pagbalik ay journalist na” (He was merely asked to buy vinegar and when he returned, he was already a journalist). Ergo, Mr. Marquez wrote that Pacifico "is neither one or the other."

 

Dioni, Pacifico’s “Pex-Man” (sidekick), was neither a member of the Cebu’s Finest nor of the Cebu’s Fourth Estate, as he claimed. This was why we took back the “Media Breakfast Club (MBC)-Dean Jose S. Reyes Journalistic Excellence Award” in 2001, which led several MBC members to say, “Kuwarta na, naging grava pa.”

 

Porfirio Diaz is another example. He migrated to the United States as an engineer but he failed to pass the engineering Board exam. So he became a real-estate salesman but he could not sell houses. So he became a “journalist.” So, in California, Porfirio is neither a licensed engineer nor a trained journalist (kuno). But as a licensed real-estate salesman, he was able to acquire a house that he turned into a board-and-care facility, where now he manages and takes care of ambulatory senior-citizen residents.

 

In the field of politics, Porfirio was elected as the treasurer of the Asian-American Republican Council of California but was later dismissed for allegedly commingling the council’s funds with his personal money in his individual checking account. Then in 2008, he openly supported then-presidential candidate Barack Obama of the Democratic Party. After the presidential elections, the Democrats did not want anything to do with him and now, he is neither a Republican nor a Democrat – as both parties do not like him as a member.

 

Rodel Rodis is neither the brilliant educator that he claimed to be (as he lost his re-election bid to the Board of Trustees of the San Francisco Community College) nor the astute lawyer that he said he was. He lost a malpractice suit and declared bankruptcy, as he did not carry any malpractice insurance.

 

Both Mr. Rodis and Loida Nicolas-Lewis are neither the bright immigration lawyers they were supposed to be (as they have been insisting erroneously that Romeo P. Marquez, a Filipino citizen, was deported by the United States to Canada) nor able members of the NaFFAA’s Committee on Elections (COMELEC). The duo composed two out of the three members of the COMELEC of the National Federation of Filipino-American Associations (NaFFAA). And at the Ballygate Scandal, the two moved for the COMELEC to “amend” the NaFFAA bylaws that required voters to be duly-registered convention delegates and to prepay the $25 voter’s registration fee. How can a COMELEC “amend” the bylaws, an hour before the casting of the ballots? As Filipino-American Southerners say, “Dugay na sa America, tonto pa gihapon.” And Ms. Lewis and Mr. Rodis are neither blood relatives nor in-laws of Greg “Lagareng Hapon” Macabenta.

 

In the NaFFAA, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, the Snow White(wash), and her Seven (Moral) Dwarfs are neither the honest leaders of the federation nor even the examples that the Filipino Americans, especially the youth, can look up to as good citizens.

A nd remarkably, some naturalized American citizens of Filipino descent are neither American nor Filipino (even if they become dual citizens), as they fail to act like true citizens of both countries. They become second-class citizens of the United States and are treated like pariahs by Filipinos in the homeland. Please read these articles,

How Some Filipino Americans Behave Like Second-Class Citizens and

A Dose of Reality: Why Many Filipinos Remain Second-Class Citizens in America

and/or

Why Most Overseas-Filipino Advocacies in the Homeland Are Often Exercises in Futility. But . . .

(To be continued . . .)

 



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Last Updated on Saturday, 08 January 2011 15:14
 
Comments (3)
Gentlemen, Gentlemen and Lady Lourdes:

As I have been saying, if a gentleman has to hurl insults, he must act like the English esquires and lords, as per this article,
“How to Insult with Class:” Lessons from the English

URL: http://www.mabuhayradio.com/humor-satire/how-to-insult-with-class-lessons-from-the-english

Sir Winston Churchill and Romeo P. Marquez so inspired me today that I wrote this insulting article, so as to spite the guys and gal that Mr. Marquez so despises:

The Filipino-American “Neitherworld”

URL: http://www.mabuhayradio.com/humor-satire/the-filipino-american-neitherworld

This article is dedicated to you, Mr. Marquez, and hopefully you can come up with another hit video (like the one I quoted in the new satire's lead paragraph) . . .

LOL,

Mabuhay,

LOLo Sir Bobby M. Reyes, KCR
Editor
www.mabuhayradio.com


In a message dated 1/7/2011 1:33:29 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, jessejose writes:

Dear Gerry, my dearest friend,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and well-written comments. Take care and regards to Tara.

Jesse


-----Original Message-----
From: GERRY GARRISON
To: Jesse Jose
Cc: philvoicenews (snipped)@yahoo.com
Sent: Fri, Jan 7, 2011 12:22 pm
Subject: Re: Kapeng Barako story: Did Jose Rizal "plagiarize" Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo


Jesse,

After reading so many responses to your story, the first few were honest responses to what you were asking. But for some reason, this got off track and slowly got away from the questions you proposed: (I quote so not to be accused of plagiarism) "But back to Rizal and Dumas. So, who copied who? Whose novel came out first? According to LOLO Bobby Reyes, Dumas lived from 1824 to 1895. Whereas Rizal was born on 1861, and as we all know, died by musketry and as a hero in the hands of the Spaniards on December 30, 1896 on charges of sedition and rebellion against Spain."

You clearly defined plagiarism in your original email, but for some reason, many of the respondents ran out of intelligent responses to your story, and went off track as to the definition of plagiarism. Reminds of a certain politician who wanted to know asked: "That depends on what the definition of is, is." (once again I quote to prevent accusations of plagiarism). I was curious as to why so called "journalists", who clearly ran out of intelligent and thoughtful replies to your story, began to curse you and threaten you. I don't believe this is how intelligent, thoughtful, educated men, especially journalists, should respond when thoughtful, friendly responses are what good journalists should do. <>
Hi Bobby,

Thanks. Now you got me thinking. "The Neithers of the Neitherworld" or "The Top Neither-Nors of the Filipino Community" or "The Pretenders of the Neitherworld" etcetera, etc. The possibilities are endless. I'll come up with something to tickle the funny bone.

Best regards,

Romy Marquez

(As sent by e-mail to the Editor)
Pareng Romy,

I am looking forward to viewing it. It would go with my morning ritual of laughter at the antics of morons ... as I sip my cup o' kapeng barako.

Take care now.

Jesse

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