By Bobby M. Reyes

The original thread of discussion in the Botomo@yahoogroups.com was “Subject: Re: Maharlika, ang Dakilang Lahi.” Soon, list members were suggesting new names for the Philippine archipelago. The original post called for the Philippines to be renamed the “Maharlika.” Even Apo Satur Respicio, the aging pundit from Hercules, California, butted in and suggested instead the name of the “Magayon Republic.” The Bicolano word, “magayon,” means beautiful. Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao told me, however, that adopting it might create the wrong impression that the “Magayonic” (sic) people are gay, as many Westerners would pronounce it, “May-gay-on.” Mr. Bunao’s parents hailed from Albay Province in the Bicol Region.

Writer's Note: Both Apo Satur Respicio and Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao have gone to the Great Beyond.

This writer did not post in the Botomo Mr. Bunao’s remarks and his suggestion of a new name for the homeland. Actually, Mr. Bunao, who is older than Apo Satur, suggested a new name that would be a combination of the archipelago’s indigenous people like the Aetas and the Latino world, as Spain was conquered by the Romans, the lords of then the many kingdoms of Italy. Mr. Bunao wanted to suggest the name of “Aetalia.”

This writer has a suggestion of his own. In order to rename the Philippines, the new name must be based on a word or product that is common to almost all inhabitants of the archipelago – from Aparri to Jolo. This writer could think of only the “balut” (duck egg that already has a well-developed embryo) and, therefore, the best new name for the homeland might as well be “Balutkistan.” Adopting this name might pacify our Muslim brethren, as the name is similar to the names of countries such as Pakistan, Afghanistan and all the Islamic countries that used to be members of the now-defunct Union of Socialist Soviet Republics.

On the other hand, Engr. Alfred C. Gilo, my friend from Dingras (Ilocos Norte) and Panama City (Florida), suggests that we adopt the name “Ilocoslovakia.” Then the dean of Filipino columnists, Max V. Soliven (now deceased), actually coined it. Engineer Gilo said that the vinegar, “Sukang Ilocos,” is a common product being used by Filipinos from Aparri to Jolo; therefore, the suggested name would represent best the commonality of the people of the archipelago. Besides he argues that the Czech Republic and the Slovak nation would immediately identify with “Ilocoslovakia” and boost the homeland’s tourism. He said that after all, the Philippine flag looks like the Czech banner in design and color selection. Then the archipelago’s Catholics venerate the Santo Niño de Praga and Prague of course is the capitol city of the Czech Republic. And adopting “Ilocoslovakia” may help generate more transparency in the Philippine government, as there would be more Czech and balance in the fiscal affairs of the Filipino homeland.

Why, I said that Mr. Gilo’s mentioning of the Ilocano vinegar should merit support from some Filipino and Filipino-American journalists (kuno) like the perrytale writer and the Batongmaliit chronicler. According to veteran journalist Joseph G. Lariosa, there is the adage, “Pinabili lang ng suka at pagbalik ay journalist na.”

Or perhaps, Filipinos may like to adopt the suggestion of many Bicolano Filipinos to rename the country the “Abaca Republic.” After all, the Philippines is the number-one producer of the abaca fiber in the world. “Abaca Republic” would sound better than “Banana Republic,” even in the merchandizing of clothes, especially RTW brand names. Since abaca is also called “Manila hemp,” perhaps the national slogan would be, “Why go banana when you can go hemp?” But the disadvantage here is that hemp is another moniker for marijuana and our women may be dubbed the “Mary Janes”?

So, Dear Readers, do you have a suggested new name for the homeland? Please send to this writer at mediabcla@aol.com your respective suggestions, as we can do a sequel to this article.

Here are the reproductions of some of the exchanges of opinion in the said Botomo thread, “Maharlika, ang Dakilang Lahi,” to wit:

Copper Sturgeon (AKA “TI” for Tumbagang Isda)

Mr. Caedo replied actually to an earlier posting by TI, who wrote:

Atty. Jay Caedo, whom I visited in 2003 in San Franncisco, CA, with my then-host, Pep Red Vasquez, was a fellow alumnus of the Ateneo de Manila College of Law. He and Mr. Vasquez have also gone to the Great Beyond.