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Home Sections Humor & Satire Top-10 Activities that Hosni Mubarak Can Now Do as a Former President of Egypt
Top-10 Activities that Hosni Mubarak Can Now Do as a Former President of Egypt PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Goliath Letterman   
Friday, 11 February 2011 15:12

T en-top Activities that Hosni Mubarak Can Now Do as a Former President of Egypt
 
By Goliath Letterman
(No Relations to David Letterman)
 
10.  Take an extended vacation in the world's most-beautiful islands and emulate Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines watch sunrises and sunsets in Honolulu -- before dying there of old age or natural causes.
 
9.  Or he can settle in Haiti and join the former dictator Baby Doc Duvalier and turn the poor half of the island into a New Egypt complete with pyramids, so as to attract many American tourists.
 
8.  Or move to the Big Apple and launch his own brand of cosmetics marketed under the trademark of "Nu-Barak," the Egyptian version of "Nu-Skin".
 
7.  Or he can move to Florida and buy many of the state's retirement and/or nursing homes and launch his version of natural-sweetener called "Honey Nu-Barak" and at the same time operate fishing boats for hire to tourists and/or buy a marina and name it the "Mubarakcuda Marina," with all the fishing boats specializing in catching barracudas.
 
6.  Or buy the Donald's hotel in Atlantic City and rename it the "Pharaoh's Taj Mahal" and/or join his television show as a co-host and change the show's slogan from "You're Fired" to "You're Exiled."
 
5.  Or move to Alaska and become the foreign-affairs adviser of Sarah Palin, so that he can tell the former Alaska governor that the jeep was not invented in Ejeep, oops, Egypt; or that the favorite dance of the people of Baghdad is not I-rock and roll; or that ancient Persians did not "invent" the marathon with the slogans, I-ran, I-jog."
 
4.  Or move to Seattle, Washington, where columnist Jesse Jose lives. Mr. Mubarak can then team up with Mr. Jose and his Cup of Kapeng Barako and rename the coffee as Kapeng Mubarako. Then they can organize a new chain of coffee houses and name them StarBarak and compete with the Seattle-based Starbucks. Imagine a coffee house with Egyptian motiff and baristas dressed like belly dancers. The new venture can make the top honchos of Starbucks sleepless in Seattle.
 
3.  Or move to South or North Dakota and buy almost all the residential lands, farmlands and businesses for sale, using the hundreds of billions of dollars stashed in Swiss banks. Then he can settle all his security people, cronies and police supporters and let them become American citizens, which move can double the present state population. In five years or less, the new American citizens of Egyptian descent can run for public office and occupy all the state's seats in the United States Senate and House of Representatives.
 
2.  Or move to the Philippines and become a partner of disgraced former Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, who is also a "moral pandak" (Filipino term for "dwarf") and who has more-than a reputation of being the Hosni Mubarak of Southeast Asia. Former Presidents Mubarak and Arroyo can then pool their loots together and buy several islands in the archipelago that they can rename as the "Mobpandak Chain of Islands." And the best option of all . . .
 
1.  Move to Washington, DC, on an exile, become an American citizen, change his name to Mubarak Obama and be the new star of the cocktail circuit -- especially if he donates hundreds of millions to political-action committees being run by American politicians. # # #
 

 


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Last Updated on Saturday, 12 February 2011 11:16
 
Comments (1)
1 Monday, 21 February 2011 20:04
LOL. I like the the idea of StarBarack coffeehouses all over Seattle ... and baristas in belly dancers' garbs. It would be a hit here and would become a favorite hangout for septuagenarians like me, as well as octogenarians like Mubarak, to sip their caffeine and drool.

With sugared Viagra and Cialis-flavored cream to mix in our coffee would make these coffeehouses the places to be and the envy of the coffee-business world.

Jesse

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