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Jun 19th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Why Did St. Peter's Chicken Cross the Road?
Why Did St. Peter's Chicken Cross the Road? PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Monday, 30 April 2007 12:06

If we were to ask Filipino-American members of the Clergy their answers to the query as to why Saint Peter’s chicken crossed the road, perhaps these would be the answers:

Fr. Eric Ong-Veloso, a Cebuano-American Orthodox priest who is also the chaplain of the Media Breakfast Club (MBC) of Los Angeles, California: “I think that you have to distinguish whether the supposed chicken of Saint Peter is a Catholic or an Orthodox fowl in the first place. Perhaps it should be called a Christian chicken in view of the ecumenical policy of the Roman Catholic Church and even of the Orthodox Church. But to us, Orthodox Christians, the chicken has to cross (pun intended) from the right to the left side of the road. Because we in the Orthodox Church make the sign of the cross from the right to the left shoulder. Why did it cross the road? Only God knows why it did so. I do not really know. Perhaps Max, the Filipino-American restaurant, has the answer.”

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Bishop Oscar Solis, an auxiliary bishop in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, California, and the first Filipino-American bishop in the United States: “Is there a Saint-Peter chicken? Assuming that there is, the chicken would probably cross the road to a Catholic church only on Good Friday, because according to the liturgy, it would crow after Saint Peter would deny Christ for three times.”

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Msgr. Winfred Vergara of the American Episcopal Church: “Perhaps a group of hens would cross the road to lay the eggs needed for the hunt on Easter Sunday. And why did Bobby choose to call it the St. Peter’s chicken? He should call it a Christian rooster or a hen in the first place. But here is my answer: The chicken crossed the road to crow about the glory of God and (the) peace-and-love message of the Messiah.”

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Msgr. Michael F. Killeen, the Irish-American pastor emeritus of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church of Rowland Heights, Californina, who was made an honorary Bicolano by the United Bicolandia-Los Angeles: “Perhaps the chicken is crossing the road to the Bicol Region, as it wants to help the victims of the latest disaster caused by the landslides at the Mayon Volcano. But if there is indeed a Saint-Peter chicken, perhaps it is crossing the road to help the Catholic Charities. However, I caution the chicken, as it may be eaten by some of the disaster victims, many of whom still suffer from lack of food.”

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Fr. Mike Java, who originally came from Samar Island in the Philippines and not from Indonesia: “Bobby Reyes called me in his writings several years back as the ‘Filipino-American Catholic priest with the most-infectious sense of humor.’ I think that the chicken comes from Samar. In which case, the chicken can be called also as a ‘Samaritan,’ in the same manner that I dub my fellow Samarnons as the ‘Good Samaritans.’ Why did it cross the road? Obviously it did so that it could escape fowl, oops, foul play.”

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Fr. Armando Red of the Diocese of Albay, who used to be an assistant pastor of Monsignor Killeen at the Saint Seton Church, and is now recuperating from eye surgery in Daly City, California: “I do not really understand why my kahimanwang (fellow Bicolnon) Bobby Reyes would ask why did the supposed chicken of Saint Peter cross the road? Perhaps the chicken is an ‘oragon’ one and it has the guts to cross the road to be able to taste the ‘Bicol Express’ regional delicacy . . . unless of course it does not want to be turned into chicken adobo in the first place, so that it did cross the road to escape (from) the hands of the chef (sic) priest.”

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Fr. Rodel Balagtas, the first-ever Filipino pastor of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish in Los Angeles, California: “If the road were the Via Dolorosa, then I presume that the chicken is crossing it to remind people that even the most-loyal among the original disciplines of Christ denied him three times when Peter feared for his life if he were to admit that he was a follower of the Redeemer. If it were an ordinary road, then the chicken is merely crossing it to join a friend, Mr. Noodle, and help provide provisions for the many soup kitchens that the Catholic Church runs for the poor and the homeless.”

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Fr. Mauricio (Mao) Goloran, a Filipino priest from the Diocese of Tagum (Davao) who is now assigned in Torrance, California: “Actually the question is wrong. It should not use ‘St. Peter’s chicken’ because Saint Peter was the chicken, as he denied Christ for three times because he did not have the guts to admit that he was one of his disciples. On the other hand, only in San Pedro (California) can we find the legitimate ‘San Pedro’s chickens.’ Why did it cross the road? Obviously it wanted to escape the cooks of El Pollo Mas Loco and/or the KFC.”

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Edwin Pastor (now deceased), an MBC member and a photojournalist, who his fellow club members described fondly as the “first Filipino Pastor” (sic) in America: “What chicken? Did Colonel Sanders miss it?”

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Pastor Fortune Solis of the (Filipino-American) Healing Mission to the Philippines and a member of the MBC: “I want to answer the satirical comment of Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao that ‘there are flocks of Filipino-American pastors who do not have any flock’ (of church members). Well, the chicken is crossing the road to join our growing flock of believers.”

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Fred Burce Bunao, the alleged founder of the newest Christian sect, the “Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Sinners (sic).” (Editor’s Note: Mr. Bunao, the Elder, said that this writer would have to interview him first about the origin and history of his church before he would tell the world why the “Christian” chicken would cross the street. This writer, therefore, shall conduct the interview and tell the readers Mr. Bunao’s answer and publish it in due time in this online magazine.) # # #



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Last Updated on Wednesday, 09 May 2007 18:39
 
Comments (2)
1 Saturday, 17 October 2009 04:50
Please read OF COCKS AND KITES, a short story collection of Alejandro Roces. Cocks have significance in Church, and also with
the Sabungeros. Read the book. It is short and fiunny.
2 Saturday, 17 October 2009 06:02
Thank you, Bobby.

Indeed, you made it (Parable of the Praying Parrots) better.

I also enjoyed "Why St. Peter's chicken cross the road ?".

Again, thanks.

tdb

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