Dateline New York City, Dec. 28, 2009, Coconut News Network (CNN Kuno), Special Niños Inocentes Edition

By Goliath Letterman

A tty. Loida Nicolas-Lewis and former Jersey City Deputy Mayor Lourdes Corrales will hold a press conference today, Monday, at 10:00 a.m. at the lobby of the Philippine Center on Fifth Avenue. The two national executive officers (NEOs) of the National Federation of Filipino-American Associations (NaFFAA) will announce to the Filipino-American press their unconditional support for the gubernatorial bid in Sorsogon Province of the federation’s number-one critic, Roberto “Lolo Bobby” M. Reyes. The NaFFAA has rented the lobby for the press conference.

Asked why the NaFFAA NEOs are overjoyed, if not deliriously thrilled, over Lolo Bobby’s candidacy for Sorsogon governor, Atty. Lewis cited ten reasons for their support to Mr. Reyes, who is her childhood friend. Ms. Corrales denied, however, to this writer that the NaFFAA NEOs are just glad, if not euphoric, because running for governor in Sorsogon Province would mean that Lolo Bobby would have no time anymore to kick around in the United States the NaFFAA NEOs over his decade-long campaign for the federation to practice strictly the ATIC slogan. ATIC, as Mr. Reyes coined, means “accountability, transparency, integrity and credibility.”

Atty. Lewis, who is reputed to be the richest Filipino community leader in the entire United States, may confirm or deny at the press conference the rumor that she is going to finance the gubernatorial bid of Lolo Bobby, no matter how many millions it would take for him to win. She will also clarify if the millions are in American currency or Philippine pesos.

H ere are the top-ten reasons for the NaFFAA NEOs’ overwhelming support for Lolo Bobby’s gubernatorial bid:

10.  Ms. Rozita Lee, the NaFFAA national vice chair, would no longer be the subject of Lolo Bobby’s “Lee-sign” and “Lee-call” jokes, which will probably be directed now at Sorsogon Gov. Sally Lee, who is running for reelection.

9.  Top NaFFAA ally, Perry Diaz, wants Mr. Reyes to be the governor, so that Bobby could build a theme park at the Prieto Diaz town of Sorsogon Province and call it the “Diazneyland” (as the NaFFAA critic has promised).

8.  Atty. Lewis wants also the “Diazneyland” resort built, so that a Governor Reyes could build a monument to her as “CinderLoida,” as he also promised.

Webmaster’s Note: Please read a related article, How Loida Lewis Got Dubbed “Snow White(wash)” and then “CinderLoida” in Ongoing NaFFAA Soap Opera

7.  Ms. Alma Q. Kern, Atty. Lewis’ successor as the NaFFAA national chairperson, would also want the “Diazneyland” so that she could portray the park’s character of “Snow Whitewash” and seven of her NaFFAA NEO colleagues as the Seven Dwarfs.

6.  Ms. Lourdes Corrales, the NaFFAA national treasurer, wants also the “Diazneyland” built, so that she could produce and direct the theme park’s re-creation of the “Gunfight at the OK Corrales” as a major cowboy tourist attraction.

5.  Greg Macabenta, the incumbent NaFFAA national chair, wants Mr. Reyes elected governor of Sorsogon so that he (Mr. Macabenta, whom Lolo Bobby dubbed as “Lagareng Hapon”) could start in the Reyes-proposed new Media City in Sorsogon a television series that the NaFFAA head honcho wants to call, “Ka-hapon Lamang.” This will be in addition to his supplying the requirements for “Papel de Hapon” for the Christmas parols (lanterns) that will be built in Sorsogon Province and exported abroad.

4. NaFFAA pillars Rodel Rodis and Ben Menor want a Reyes governorship in Sorsogon so that Lolo Bobby will devote his time to exporting the province’s green crabs (“alimango”) instead of supporting their San Jose, CA, nemesis, the “Citizens Rebelling Against Bogus Spending” (CRABS).

3.  Former NaFFAA Chief of Staff Doy Heredia, who retired as a captain in the Philippine Navy, wants Lolo Bobby to inaugurate the latter’s “Southern Naval Academy” project so that he (Heredia) could still become a commodore, if not the admiral of Sorsogon’s proposed “mosquito” fleet of the replicas of Ferdinand Magellan’s’ galleons.

2.  Ms. Aurora Cudal, the NaFFAA regional chair in San Diego County (CA), wants to help a Governor Reyes “mend fences” in his province, as Sorsoganons call a fence a “cudal.” Mending political and actual fences would make her a household word in Sorsogon. And finally,

1.  Ms. Lorna Dietz, the online public-relations director of the NaFFAA, wants a Governor Reyes to change a term in the cockpits of Sorsogon from “logro diez” to “logro dietz,” so as to enrich the Sorsoganon dialect of the Samarnon and Bicol languages. # # #