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Home Sections Humor & Satire Will American Chickens Have to Cross the Road to Mexico to Lay Eggs? (As Updated)
Will American Chickens Have to Cross the Road to Mexico to Lay Eggs? (As Updated) PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Thursday, 10 July 2008 01:29

The Humane Society of the United States and its allies campaigned for egg-laying hens and other chickens to be housed in more-humane (sic) accommodations. Yes, living quarters that allow the birds to be able to stretch their wings, stand up, be able to turn around, exercise, do “chicken dances” and not be caged. The Humane Society succeeded in putting the “Prevention of Farm Cruelty Act” (PFCA) initiative on the November ballot in California. The initiative (called Proposition 2) passed. It would ban some livestock-confinement systems such as the so-called “battery cages,” the stacked-wire cages where six to eight chicken “egg-layers” are housed per enclosure.

 

To know more about the PFCA, please go to these links:

The Prevention of Farm Animal Cruelty Act on the November ...

The principle behind the ‘Prevention of Farm Animal Cruelty Act’ is simple: All animals deserve humane treatment, including those raised for ...
www.californiaprogressreport.com/2008/05/the_prevention.html

 

Per the trade association United Egg Producers (UEP), about 30 chicken farms produce nearly all of the Golden State’s 5-billion-egg output. Each chicken farm houses more-than 600,000 hens and turn out massive quantities of chicken manure and ammonia, aside from pollution-causing nutrients, antibiotics and even heavy metals that fowl, oops, foul up California’s waterways and sewage systems. According to UEP studies, it is estimated that 600,000 chickens produce some 22,000 gallons of manure and 500 pounds of ammonia per day, 24/7.

 

To know more about the UEP, please visit its website, as these links:

United Egg: About United Egg, History & Background

Out of the 1968 meeting, United Egg Producers (UEP) was created as a federated Capper-Volstead Agriculture Cooperative of five regional marketing ...
www.unitedegg.org/about_history.aspx

 

And speaking of chicken manure being turned into fertilizer, perhaps it would be wise for California  politicians to employ former Filipino Undersecretary of Agriculture Joc Joc Bolante -- instead of extraditing him to the Philippines. Mr. Bolante was able to convert fertilizer into votes and perhaps he may be able to convert chicken manure into ballots. Although California state officials will have to petition the federal authorities to release Mr. Bolante to their custody, as the former Filipino official is still in a federal jail due to immigration-law violations.

 

Editor’s Notes:

This is the third chicken story that the author has written for this website.

To read the other stories, please click on the following links:

Why Did the Filipino Chicken Cross the American Road?

Why Did St. Peter's Chicken Cross the Road?

 

Perhaps, the UEP members will emulate European egg producers and keep the chickens happily living in huge barns – without the detested “battery cages.” Or as many American companies have done, move the chicken farms to Mexico, where environmental-protection laws are less stringent, animal-welfare legislation is still on the drawing board and where cockfighting – as introduced by Filipino Galleon crew members – is second only to soccer in popularity. Perhaps, in the end, American chickens will have to cross to Mexico to be able to lay their eggs.

 

California voters will have to decide this November whether they “can turn chicken sh_t into chicken salad.”

But transporting from Mexico to California billions of eggs will involve thousands of huge trucks that consume tons of diesel fuel that would further derail humanity’s fight against Global Warming. And after the egg-laying hens have reached the point of diminishing return, more fuel is needed to transport them back to California, fully dressed or in assorted parts (thighs, breasts, drum sticks, etc.)

 

Perhaps the issue of Chicken Rights (like their right to more-decent living conditions, the ban on cockfighting, etceteras, etc.) will have to be viewed from the context of Human Rights (like consumer rights to affordable eggs, the fight to save the Earth from Global Warming, illegal immigration, etc.). Ultimately, it may boil down to the basic question: Which comes first, the chicken or the egg (pun intended)? Or, which comes first to Mexico and back to California, the chicken or the egg?

 

In the final analysis, California voters probably decided on November 4th that they would “turn chicken sh_t into chicken salad,” as Ted Danson told Isabella Rossellini in the movie, “Cousins.” # # #

 



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Last Updated on Wednesday, 05 November 2008 17:34
 

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