On President Obama’s Balat; an AOL Poll and a Marine Print
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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Thursday, 12 March 2009 07:59

I am glad that I am free . . .
But I wish I was a dog,
And Obama was a tree

                 --A Filipino-American poet, who prefers to remain anonymous


In the Filipino culture, there’s a belief that someone with a skin pigmentation known as the balat, brings bad luck.  President Obama, I think, has a balat.  Because today as I write this, on the 51st day of his presidency, his so-called Economic Stimulus Plan has gone catatonic.

And that's because so far:

* He has cost the American taxpayer about 100-billion dollars a day.

* Jobs continue to be lost.  It’s now in the area of four-million and counting.


* There’s no transparency and bipartisanship in his administration that he promised will be achieved. 


*  It’s business as usual in Washington.  There’s NO CHANGE at all.   


* And . . . the stock market has lost 2000 points.


T he Associated Press reports that the Obama Administration has “garnered the distinction no leader wants: the WORST ever stock-market performance for a new President.”


“The Dow Jones industrial average has fallen 21 percent during Mr. Obama’s first seven weeks in office,” the AP writes.  “Count back to Election Day and the results are even bleaker.  That afternoon, the Dow Jones closed at 9, 625.  Now it stands at 6, 547, a LOSS of 32 percent.”


In other words, Wall Street has been disappointed by President Obama’s $787-billion Economic-Stimulus Plan, as well as the ongoing financial bailouts for greedy bankers and their cousins in the AIG; the automakers and other troubled sectors of this free-falling economy.


And although the Obama Administration likes to say it “inherited” the recession and the trillion of dollars deficit from Mr. Bush and Company, the economic wreckage has worsened on Mr. Obama.


Kasi nga, as I said, may balat . . .


AOL POLL RESULTS: Now, check this out.  What follows are the results of a poll conducted by AOL, also on the 50th day of Obama’s presidency.  About 800,000 people were asked at random.


Question #1: How do you rate Barack Obama’s job performance so far?


POOR -------------------  49 %

Excellent ---------------- 25 %

FAIR ---------------------  14%

GOOD -------------------  12 %


Question #2: Will Obama be able to turn the economy around in the next four years?


PROBABLY NOT -----  59 %

PROBABLY ------------  31 %

NOT SURE ------------- 10%


FREE TATTOO REMOVAL: Got some tattoos y’all want removed?  Hey, if y’all want your skin untainted again, Mr. Obama will do it for free.  Y’all heard it right, folks.  Free!!!  As in free money.


T attoo experts say that the average cost of tattoo removal is $50 per square inch per treatment.  And it usually requires 12 or more treatments to completely remove them all.


And it’s free, courtesy of Mr. Obama, to be paid for by you and me.  Because, you see, the $410 billion spending bill Congress is sending to Obama includes $200,000 for people in California to get their unblemished skin back.


Hey, Mr. Obama, sir, if that’s the case, how about some free botox treatment for vain old farts like me?  And perhaps, a free ration of Viagra?  How about a penis transplant, too, from a horse, if I could?


If that octuplet mom from California, named Nadya  Suleman, can get a new four-bedroom, three-bath house, costing almost $600,000, because the house she  has been living in is being foreclosed … plus FREE round-the-clock home care for her octuplets, I am sure me and my DOM friends, like Don Azarias and Jesse "Mr. Debonair" Farrales of Chicago, could also get our free rations of Viagra, our free botox treatment and our transplants . . .


THE FEW, THE PROUD, THE MARINES: I have a great respect for America’s Marines.  When I was still in the Navy, we used to call them, “Jarheads.”  In return, they would call us, “Swabbies.”  The Marines are a part of the Navy.  And though they are of a different breed and wear a different uniform from us, I have a fondness for them.


L et me illustrate why:

Two radical Arab terrorist boarded a flight out of London.  One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat…  Just before takeoff, a Marine sat down in the in the aisle seat.  After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I need to get up and get a Coke.”


“Don’t get up,” said the Marine, “I am in the aisle seat, I’ll get it for you.”


As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine’s shoe and spat in it.  When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good, I’d really like one, too.”


Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch another can of Coke.  While he was gone, the other Arab picked up the Marine’s other shoe and spat in it.  When the marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.  As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.


He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors: “Why does it have to be this way?  How long must this go on?  This fighting between our nations, this hatred, this animosity, this SPITTING in shoes and PISSING in Cokes?


The Few, the Proud, the Marines . . . I have great respect for ‘em.  JJ



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Last Updated on Thursday, 12 March 2009 08:19
Comments (3)
1 Wednesday, 18 March 2009 11:15
Super JJ, luv it ILMFAO!!! Keep up the hard on LOL. Ed Navarra
2 Wednesday, 18 March 2009 11:17
Pareng Don: Tukayo JJ always has in his subconscious that JJ and JF are the same ... Yes, they are since both of us have the penchant for Greatness and the Beautiful ... especially for the chicks. Deb
3 Wednesday, 18 March 2009 11:18
Pareng Jesse, Another gem from the great JJ.... Pareng Don
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