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Columns - A Cup O' Kapeng Barako
Friday, 06 November 2009 11:44


A Cup O’ Kapeng Barako


T his dyok (joke) was sent to me by Bart T., a Chicago-based friend.  It may be a dyok, but I think it’s very true.  “And God knows that . . .” I told Bart.  I also told him that I enjoyed the dyok so much that I should share it with my Barako readers, especially those macho-nurin types na mga DOMs.


The title of this dyok is: “Two Types of Men.” So here it is.  Enjoy.


When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.  I want all the women to report to St. Peter.”


Soon the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.  The line of men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.


God said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves.  I created y’all to be the head of your household.  Y’all have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose!  Of all of you, only one obeyed.  Learn from him.”


God then turned to that ONE MAN and asked him: “How did you manage to be the only one in this line?”


The man replied, “My wife told me to stand here.”


I really think I have something in common with this MAN.  Because, just like him, I am an obedient husband.  Honest . . .  Okey ngarud, enough of that.


Editor’s Notes: To read Jesse Jose’s other classic “dyok” stories, please click on these links:


Okey Ngarud, mga Pare, Mag-dyok Muna Tayo …


Untitled pa … itong kuwentong kung ito


Mga Dyoks … Tungkol kay Barack HUSSEIN Obama


That “Funneeeee” Cartoon of the New Yorker Magazine


A Turkey Story for Thanksgiving Day


Hysterical hysterics of Desperate Housewives

So, you guys voted this past Tuesday?  I did.  And the guy I voted for mayor of our town, won.  He’s a GOP.


OBAMA GOT HIS BUTT KICKED: And we heard that the two GOPs, Chris Christie and Robert McDonnell, who ran as governors in New Jersey and Virginia respectively, both won, too.  It was said by conservative pundits that Chris Christie’s “gutsy” win in New Jersey puts his opponent, the “arrogant big spender Jon Corzine in his place.” 


And that obviously Christie’s victory is a “body blow” to Mr. Obama.


And that Corzine’s defeat sends a loud-and-clear message that America is “moving sharply against Obama.”


And despite of the fact that Mr. Obama was in New Jersey so much that it almost looked like it was him who was running for governor instead of Corzine … “did no good.”  Loudly and clearly, President Obama’s butt and his surrogate there in New “Joisey” got a beating big time.  Ouch!


When a GOP candidate in Virginia wins by 20 points, it sends a message that Mr. Obama’s mantra of “YES, HE CAN!” is beginning to sound like, “NO, HE CAN’T!”


But it’s the win in Virginia, political analysts have said, that’s considered as “the most important.” For the “sudden switch” of loyalties in that state, which was a swing state that Mr. Obama carried in the last presidential election, “heralds tough political times ahead.”  


And that when a GOP in Virginia wins by 20 points, it sends a message that President Obama’s mantra of “YES, HE CAN!” is beginning to sound like, “NO, HE CAN’T!”


And this, I believe, is THE change we can truly believe in! 


As Dick Morris, a news commentator for FOX News commented: “The elections of 2009 … show the limits of Obama’s appeal … a signal on how the public is reacting to his RADICAL agenda.”


And, it’s not only the GOPs that are incensed at President Obama’s policies.  A growing numbers of liberals – the pro-choice proponents, the gay activists, the immigration rights groups, the anti-war crusaders, the civil libertarians, etc. -- are fed-up with him for betraying them on the liberal agenda that they elected him to enact.


So … so much ngarud for the AUDACITY OF HOPE of Barack H. Obama, ha?  Okey ngarud, enough of that.


PAKYAW ON JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW, MY TAKE: Did y’all see Manny Pakyaw, live, this past Tuesday, on Jimmy Kimmel late-night TV show?  I think that’s awesome.  He’s now the most famous Filipino on Earth.  Nadaig pa niya si Willie, the “Wowowee.”


My fellow columnist, Joseph Lariosa of Chicago, a die-hard fan of Pakyaw, wrote an excellent story on Pakyaw’s appearance on that show.  His story has been published in several on-line and hard copy Fil-Am publications.  Check it out.  I wrote a comment on JGL’s story (Pacquiao Lives Up to His Name and Appears in Jimmy Kimmel Show), ribbing him in this way:


Hello JGL,


Good story and a good read.  A multi-talented man like Pakyaw – boxer, singer, actor, pandesal baker … and writer kuno pa pala – should be, as Kimmel suggested, THE President of the Philippines.  With Willie, the Wowowee as his VP, that Pilipino adage, “Ang Pilipino Angat Sa Mundo,” will surely come true. 


(Signed )JJ

PS: I bet you my piggy bank of pennies, he’s gonna lose to “El Kuto.”  Because, you see, El Kuto is no Mehicano, he’s a Negro.  And Pakyaw can only beat up Mexican boxers, who have retired, and recycled to box Pakyaw for the money.  Hah!


Gamely, JGL wrote a reply:


Hi, JJ:


Thanks for reading my story.


I also enjoyed reading your “Philippines: The Land of ‘Wawa We’.”  I hope those foreigners you mentioned in your accounts who are taking over the businesses from Filipinos are paying their proper taxes para naman hindi “Wawa We” ang Pinas.


In the case of Pakyaw, itabi mo na lang ang iyong mga pennies para lumago pa.  I hardly make any prediction because it is very hard to be accurate.  But I think as a Puerto Rican who speaks the Latino language, Mr. Miguel Cotto is in line to be another “Mexecutioner” victim of Manny.  Our Pakyaw may not only be able to “pa-pak” (I hope not bite the ear, like Mike Tyson did) Cotto, pero puede na rin tirisin na lang ni Manny si Cotto, na parang kuto.  (Signed) JGL


There were several funny “Kuto” comments commenting on my “Kuto” retort. But, once again, I’ve ran out of space.  Kaya, dear readers, use your imagination na lang, ha?


Okey ngarud, that’s all. JJ


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Last Updated on Friday, 06 November 2009 15:54
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