T he word “Itik” is the Filipino (and even the Bahasa-Indonesian and Bahasa-Melayo) term for a “duck.” Yes, Filipino Americans and the Filipino people must rid themselves of “human ducks” who quack (pun intended) like counterfeit journalists and/or fake lawyers, phony Ph.D. holders, etceteras, etcetera, ad infinitum.

Here is a write-up of a Filipino immigrant who likes to be called an attorney and posts online statements that he owns a “law office” in Los Angeles, California: “Marie Cherie, Espinosa’s wife, reportedly has recently left his (sic) husband to be with an American, Pex Aves, a Dipolog City native who is now a practicing lawyer in Los Angeles, told Sports Times on Thursday.” As copied from: http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-34389.html

“Pinibili lang ng avocado at pagbalik ay abogado na” (he was sent merely to buy an avocado and when he returned, he was already an attorney) will soon become a Filipino humorous adage because of this writer’s and Romy Marquez’s ongoing exposés on fake lawyers in the Filipino-American community.

Editor’s Notes: To read again Mr. Marquez’s investigative reports, please click on these links:

Fake Lawyer Gets Reported to the Philippine-American Bar Association as He Continues to Advertise his “Law Office’s” Services

Another Exposé: Aves’ “High-caliber Lawyers” Employed in his L. A. Law Office Are Unknown to the California Bar Association

YouTube Newsvideo of Pex Aves, the Filipino Impostor of a “Lawyer” and “Journalist” in Los Angeles

Los Angeles-based Self-proclaimed “Mediaman” cum “Lawyer” Exposes Self as a “Madman” and “Abogago”

Grammarcide (sic) and Not Genocide

As now-coined by this writer, “grammarcide” is the deliberate and systematic destruction, in whole or in part, of the English language by a wannabe writer, irrespective of the author’s ethnic, racial, religious, or national background.

It is a case of a colloquial version of the legal maxim of “double jeopardy” when a fake lawyer tries also to become a bogus journalist. Here is what happened to Mr. Aves when he wrote to Perry Diaz, who posted it in his column without bothering to edit it (because he also does not know how):

“HOPEFULLY SOMEBODY OR SOMEONE FROM THIS GROUP WHO MAYBE HAVE A CONNECTION TO THE HIGH GOVT OFFICIALS OF THE PHILS. AND OR MAYBE PERRY DIAZ CAN VENTILATE THIS ISSUE TO HIS MEDIA CONNECTION IN MANILA SO THAT ONCE AND FOR ALL AN INVESTIGATION MAYBE LUNCH.” As copied from: http://globalbalita.com/2010/10/15/child-protection-is-still-a-low-priority/

Mr. Diaz is another wannabe writer, who has also been accused of being a fake journalist. He did not mind Mr. Aves’ suggestion of a "lunch," as in “an investigation (that) maybe (sic) lunch (sic).” Perry Diaz eats typos and “grammarcide” for breakfast and more typos also for lunch and dinner.

Editor’s Note: To read “collateral damages” of satires, please click on these links: How Immigrants Pacifico and Porfirio Got to Have Anglicized Names of “Pex” and “Perry”

and Rare Kind of Bird Flu Afflicts Two Filipino Wannabe Writers in Los Angeles

Campaign Against Ph. D. Graduates of Correspondence Schools

F or almost two decades now, this writer has been making fun of Filipino-American “Ph.D.” graduates of correspondence schools, especially those that take absolute pride in being called a “Doctor.”

I wrote this essay in the mid-1990s that this website reprinted in June 2007: A Parable of the Filipino Ph.D. in Beverly Hills that caricatured a cofounder of the National Federation of Filipino-American Associations (NaFFAA).

Once upon a time, I printed business cards that said, “Bobby M. Reyes, not a Ph.D.” Of course, I had lots of fun in correcting people that I did not possess even a master’s, and much more a doctorate, degree. I pointed out to the “not” which was printed in the smallest font size available in the printing shop. I recall Ka Hector Santos, the venerable founder of the Philippine History Group of Los Angeles, having tons of laughter during one of our monthly meetings. It was good that Ka Hector did not die from laughing so hard after he saw my business card.

While articles and oral narratives about the Filipino itiks are funny and elicit lots of laughter, the image of the Filipino-American community gets affected. Words spread around in the other itik, oops ethnic communities about the presence and practices of the Filipino fakes. Like when ethics in journalism and in the law profession is reduced to the level of the "itik."

Filipinos take pride in pointing out that supposedly the Philippines is the third-biggest English-speaking country in the world. Yet foreigners see the works of some Overseas-Filipino self-proclaimed “journalists” as the proofs positive of “grammarcide.”

If we want foreigners and other ethnic minorities to respect Filipino literature in English, then Filipino writers must value first English grammar. One does not need a degree in journalism to write effectively (provided of course that the writer has a good grasp of English and all its basic rules in grammar and spelling).

O ur people must ostracize the pretenders – from the fake journalists to the fake attorneys and bogus Ph.D. holders – so that they/we can be taken seriously in the United States and other foreign countries. Otherwise there will be more and more Teri Hatcher-type of comments and dialogues even on television. And they are not funny instances, especially when our homeland has produced popular English-speaking personalities like Melanie Marquez, Alma Moreno, Erap and the Pacman. # # #