By Goliath Letterman

Dateline Los Angeles, California, Dec. 28, 2010, Coconut News Network (CNN Kuno), 2010 “Niños Inocentes” Lampoon Edition

The PASPHAW to Give Four Filipino Senators the Filipino-American “Oscar” Award

T he Philippine-American Society of Pundits, Humorists and Wags (PASPHAW) will give four members of the Philippine Senate the “Oscar” Award of the Filipino-American community.

The four senators who will receive the “Filipino-American ‘Oscar’ Award” are the Honorable Edgardo Angara, Manuel “Lito” Lapid, Loren Legarda, and Juan Miguel Zubiri. The first three senators are cited for their decision as members of the Senate Electoral Tribunal (SET) not to proclaim Aquilino “Koko” Pimentel, III, in spite of overwhelming proof and pieces of evidence that Mr. Pimentel won his 2007 electoral protest against Mr. Zubiri.

Mr. Zubiri is given the “Oscar” Award for his vehement-and-shameless insistence that his counter-protest would ultimately prove that he “won” the 2007 elections long after the term of office would have by then expired in 2013.

Pacifico Palaypay, the PASPHAW “Oscar” Selection Committee chairman, said that it took supreme guts and thick faces on the part of Senators Angara, Lapid, Legarda and Zubiri to deny Mr. Pimentel his seat in the Philippine Senate. “The collective actions of the four Filipino senators, therefore, represented the highest degree of simple-mindedness, which is the paramount criterion in selecting the award recipients,” Chairman Palaypay said further.

The full name of the much-publicized prize is the “Oscar S. Tupido” Award. The prize consists of a fake-gold medal and a million-dollars in cash award, payable at the rate of one-dollar per year for the next million years. The Filipino-American “Oscar” Award will be given to the four Filipino senators in Los Angeles, California, on April 1, 2011, that is if they would accept it. So, far nobody among the 20 previous recipients of the “Fil-Am ‘Oscar’ Award” has accepted it for various reasons.

Nomination for the PASPHAW’s Next President

In the meantime, the PASPHAW members and officers have endorsed unanimously the nomination of Seattle, Washington-based pundit, Jesse José, to become the next president of the society. He writes the very-popular column, A Cup O’ Kapeng Barako (http://www.mabuhayradio.com/a-cup-o-kapeng-barako/).

The new president will succeed Poet-pundit Fred Burce Bunao, the PASPHAW founder who died on Oct. 1, 2010, at age 84.

The PASPHAW president must be at least 70-years old and Mr. José has recently become a septuagenarian, as per this testament of a column, A Wedding Reception, a Birthday, a Gift and a Dyok on Obama Stamps

T he PASPHAW president must not only be witty and humorous but must also demonstrate the quality of irreverence. Jesse José and Mr. Bunao apparently share the same dictum: “It is okay for me to be irreverent for as long as my writings are not irrelevant to the community.”

The PASPHAW Committee on Elections, as headed by Pundit Nehru, will contact Mr. José and relay to him the good news of his being the unanimous choice of the members to become their next president. # # #