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Mar 27th
Home Sections Humor & Satire How Do You Spell the Surname of Pacman? And Pacquiaoism (Tidbits of, or Hearsay, Stories About the Filipino Boxing Icon)
How Do You Spell the Surname of Pacman? And Pacquiaoism (Tidbits of, or Hearsay, Stories About the Filipino Boxing Icon) PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Goliath Letterman   
Friday, 26 November 2010 18:32


A Filipino Satire by Goliath Letterman

(Not Related to David Letterman)


Part One of a New Series Called “Pacquiaoism”


An East-European sports writer allegedly interviewed recently boxing megastar and now-Philippine Congressman Manny Pacquiao. Here are some of the questions supposedly asked and his alleged answers during the interview:


Q: Filipino-American columnist Jesse Jose, who writes for the, spells your family name as “Pakyaw.” What’s really the right spelling?


A: It’s Pacquiao.


Q: How do you spell it?


A: P as in Philippines, A as in America, C as in China, Q as in Cuba, U as in Europe, I as in Italy, A as in America again, and O as in Oustralia.


The sports writer just smiles. Then he proceeds to ask more questions.


Q: How true are the reports that you and your promoter Bob Arum will put up a foundation to help educate the financially-disadvantaged students of your home province in the Philippines?


A: Yes, Atty. Bob Arum, his company and I will put up a foundation that will operate the “Pacquiao-Arum and Company University.” But we may decide to name it instead as the “Philippine-American Cultural University.” But in any case, it will be called by its initials, “PAC U.


Q: What will be the common name or moniker of your university’s students and eventual alumni?


A: Oh, the students and graduates will be called the PACkers, as in Green Bay Packers.


Q: What are your other plans for the PAC U?


A: The main campus will be on Sarangani Island, where I am its congressman. But then we intend to establish another campus in General Santos City, where it can be run by my siblings.


Q: What will you call the university in General Santos City?




Q: Is it true that your mother, Dionisia, wants to finish her schooling at the PAC U, so that she will earn her Ph.D. degree?


A: She doesn’t have to go to college to get her Ph.D. I will just buy her a Pizza Hut franchise. You know this Los Angeles-based writer Bobby Reyes says that Ph.D. also means “Pizza Hut Delivery.” But if my Mommy Dionisia wants to go to college, nobody can stop her.


Editor’s Note: To read Bobby Reyes’s parable on the Ph.D., please click on this link, A Parable of the Filipino Ph.D. in Beverly Hills


Q: If she enrolls at the PAC U, won’t she be called the “Mother PACker?”


P acman did not reply. He merely smiles.


Q: Now that you have won world championships in eight separate weight categories, do you have plans of retiring soon? A Chicago-based Filipino-American writer, Joseph Lariosa, wrote a piece called Eight Is Enough and certainly he had good points in urging you to hang up your boxing gloves.


A: I want to fight until I reach the age of 35, four years from now.


Q: Aside from politics, we heard that you plan to launch a career as a singer in Las Vegas. Is that true?


A: I may join the Las Vegas-based Filipino-American band called the “Society of Seven” as its lead singer. In which case, it may be renamed the “Society of Seven Plus One.”


Q: Why the unique name for a band?


A: Well, if there is the “Minus One” in Karaoke, there can also be a “Plus One,” right? But if the negotiations with the “Society of Seven” don’t push through, I intend to invite the boxers that I defeated to join me in a new band. They can be my back-up singers or musicians. They can have a new well-paying career, aside from “has-been boxers.”


Q: Are you referring to Oscar de la Hoya, David Diaz, Miguel Cotto, Antonio Margarito, Joshua Clottey, Ricky Hatton, Juan Manuel Marquez, Erik Morales and Marco Antonio Barrera?


A: Yes and I will call the band, “Pacman and the Patsies.”


(To be continued . . .)


E ditor’s Note: To view Manny Pacquiao perform as a singer, please click on this YouTube video:







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Last Updated on Sunday, 05 December 2010 15:02
Comments (1)
1 Saturday, 27 November 2010 19:13
Hey Goliath,

You're truly a genius. PAC U? PAC U II? MOTHER PACKER? ILMFAO!!!

Jesse Jose

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