Imaginary BROKEN NEWS Headline from CNN (Coconut News Ngayon): There's no truth to reports that a regenerated Perry Diaz, the Sacramento, California-based real-estate agent masquerading as a writer, has been arrested by literary authorities for being a troll and for stealing intellectual properties from Google and Wikipedia. Reports reaching the Philippine Village Voice said that . . .

By ROMEO P. MARQUEZ

SAN DIEGO - Neither a journalist nor a writer, the googler and cyber punk called Perry Diaz continues to dish out lies and distortions in his pathetic effort to regain what little credibility he had as calumnist, err, I mean columnist, of fairies and tales.

I already delivered the most irreverent requiem he deserved to accelerate his total demise from his indecency and in so doing, his last gasps are slowly seeping out like flatulence, befouling the already rancid air of his morbid surroundings.

Why he had to lie, why he had to post false information, is beyond me. I made a promise to myself that after his cyber death a few days ago, the punk would be completely ignored, the best way to end his transcendental existence.

But in the bliss of my morning ritual yesterday, a well-meaning friend called and asked in amazement why I wasn't responding to the latest gibberish from this punk (who) a journalist (Joseph Lariosa of Chicago) had called the author of "Perry Tales". That's quite strange, he said, knowing that I would not allow such rubbish as Perry Diaz's to pass without comment.

I said that as far as I am concerned, Perry Diaz is gone, kaput, hesusmaryosep! and the person doing the Internet posting must have evolved from that phoney writer into its present form we can now call Parrot Dias. Que paso, senor hombre?

I likened the transition to the mythical bird phoenix because I had thought he deserved some respect. But a reader commented that I maligned the bird, not Perry Diaz, for having made the parallelism. Because of that, he said, I was being kind to him.

"Mr. Diaz is better described as a troll than a phoenix," said Allan Albert. "A troll, in cyberspace, is one who posts inflammatory responses ad hominem (attacking the person and not the subject)," he explained.

"Perhaps," he continued, "you meant your analogy to be prophetic, the phoenix after all can only be reborn as yet another phoenix. It cannot morph into a different creature like the caterpillar can change into a butterfly".

So, que quieres, cabron? Outside of craving for my attention, I don't know what else Perry Diaz wants from me. Bakla ba yan? Is he trying to avenge his lost reputation that he had buried earlier because of the avalanche of attacks on his Google-based writings?

He alone can answer that. I suspect he's seeking my help, though he wouldn't say so directly. Well, if I could I would. I'm not going to deny anybody succor if that is what's needed to restore a life. I could be generous.

And because Perry Diaz was a goner, he needed to resurrect himself for personal and business reasons even if it meant regenerating as Parrot Dias. Hola, bienvenido, senor! Como esta, senor papagayo?

I am disappointed, however. I thought that in his reincarnation as Parrot Dias he would stay away from the dirt and venom of his predecessor, the unlamented fairy, err, Perry Diaz.

But no, no, no, no. Parrot Dias has this unqualified love for rotten garbage, so he rakes up the stink of a few years and tries to bring it to life.

He tries to impose his belief and his lack of comprehension by saying, and I quote: "I undestand (sic) that a 'guilty' verdict is cause for imprisonment and/or deportation." That's a sick understanding. Holy cow!

I'm not even charged with anything that would lead to a "guilty" or "not guilty" verdict, much less a plea. Ano ba ito, gago na at tanga pa? The guy can't and will never be a journalist. He simply doesn't have it, obviously.

If I had to be mean, I would post my rebuttal of that article he quoted just to let people read and see how that writer was just as bad, if not worse, than Perry Diaz and now his successor Parrot Dias.

The writer of the article was hoping to feed his lust. He was salivating that he forgot that facts, not fiction, make a news story. When I exposed him for trying to ingratiate himself with the woman -- thus, his story -- he stopped on his tracks. Nabuko ba!

Everything is on the record. But Parrot Dias conveniently omits mention of such thing because to do so would reduce his posting to a combustible hot air. If you can't be honest, Parrot Dias, please be accurate. Let's be fair, okay cabron?

The TV reporter was the product of big-time hype typical of white-dominated broadcast stations. Like Parrot Dias who merely parrots and echoes, she's dependent on secondary and tertiary information.

People who could not immediately decipher hype from truth, sound bytes from sound reporting, naturally bought the erroneous story simply because it was a white person doing the reporting.

The TV station never aired my side. The news director and producer of the show dodged my demands for equal time. They never gave me the chance to contest their story because they would lose their rating. To allow me to challenge their stories would be to negate the reporter's billing as an investigative reporter, which she was not.

All these are on the record. The factual accounts are published in my own newspaper and somewhere else.

Parrot Dias doesn't care if he what he posts are factually correct or not. That's being irresponsible. That's not being honest with your reader. That's deliberately lying. That's nauseating.

As to my part-time job, I never denied that I worked as a grocery clerk and cashier in a mainstream company until 2005 when it was bought out. That was honest toil. And the meager money that I so sweetly earned there I gladly plowed back to my newspaper.

Why didn't I go mainstream if I'm really good? Why would I? Why would I want to be another statistic in support of diversity in newsrooms?

If I could flush out people like Perry Diaz and Parrot Dias and expose them for their quackery, it would be reward enough.

If I could provide information, rather than withhold it, to my community so that its members are not victimized by scam artists like the one Parrot Dias blindly defends, it would be reward enough.

I've had my mainstream stints as foreign correspondent for more than 15 years, first with the Japanese daily Asahi Shimbun, and later with the Deutsche Presse Agentur for 11 years and that, to me, was sufficient time for international exposure.

I started my three newspapers (the broadsheet Diario Veritas, The District Times and the Philippine Village Voice which is still there) without having to beg for money from special interest groups or from investors who want to be immortalized as reputable publishers.

I had no seed capital but I had to do it because I can not accept that there are dubious writers like Parrot Dias who continue to keep the Filipino community in perpetual darkness with their lies and distortions.

As a journalist, I feel it is my obligation to help rescue the community from ignorance and corruption perpetuated by pretenders and opportunists who lead the community and who sit in newspapers as editors and reporters without knowing how to compose a simple letter.

My San Diego Filipino community is littered with all kinds of fakes who, like Parrot Dias, can't differentiate black propaganda from yellow journalism. That alone betrays ignorance. There are also alleged writers, the morons, who don't know what morass is from mores.

Those are some of the reasons I had to found my own newspapers. I don't care if nobody advertises and I had to work elsewhere to fund them. That makes me beholden to no one, not to Parrot Dias who can't write without Google, nor to his ilk.

All these years as a local journalist I am free, free to write anything without being pressured, without having to fear parrots, bullies and trolls. But I have to be on guard, yes.

I knew that my kind of reporting will not sit well with the community. I knew the likes of Parrot Dias would engage in outright distortions. I knew all the attendant risks and the unending threats of lawsuits, harm and what have you.

All Parrot Dias can see in my reporting is the attack. With such myopic eyes, what can I expect? Lacking the talent, the skill and the knowledge, he should be writing for the other CNN (the Coconut News Ngayon). That way he could improve his coconut.

Pobresito! He fails to realize, or even admit, that every story I write gives him the illumination that he can never find in Google. Eso se comprende, senor. # # #