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Jun 25th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Ten Filipino Alleged Versions of Nostradamus
Ten Filipino Alleged Versions of Nostradamus PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Written by Bobby M. Reyes   
Thursday, 07 February 2013 12:33

By Lolo Bobby M. Reyes of Bibingcahan, Sorsogon City

T his writer has been called as "one of Sorsogon Province's prophets or even a Sorsoganon or Bicolnon version of Michel de Nostradamus." But in reality, there are at least 10 Filipino and/or Overseas-Filipino versions of the great prophet that was Nostradamus. So, Lolo Bobby is not a solitary voice in the wilderness of telling the future.

Here are the 10 alleged Filipino versions of Nostradamus:

10. Nordstromdamus. Usually a Filipino-American shopper at Nordstrom who can predict with regularity when sales will happen.

9. Nostradagos. A Sorsoganon or Bicolnon prophet who always welcomes visitors to his or her house, with the phrase "Dagos tabi" (or "Please enter my home.")

8. Niecetradamus. A niece of a "Nostradagos" who also engages in fortune telling.

7. Newstradamus. A Filipino or Filipino-American reporter or publisher who tries to predict what the headlines will be tomorrow.

6. No-se-tradamus. A Filipino or Filipino-American reporter or publisher who does not know ("No se") what he or she is writing about the future.

5. Nostrildamus. A Filipino or Overseas-Filipino EENT medical practitioner who predicts what his or her patient's nose will look like after it undergoes cosmetic surgery.

4. Cosanostradamus. A Filipino illegal-drug and/or illegal-gambling lord who predicts his or her relationship with the public officials that will be elected or re-elected in the next election.

3. Nonsensedamus. A Filipino preacher who predicts the end of the world or the Second Coming of the Redeemer or who says that he is the Redeemer himself.

2. Nostalgiadamus. A Filipino sentimentalist who longs for the past and who hopes to predict its re-creation in the future. And

1. Nosegaydamus. A Filipino lover of fragrant smells who can predict where the small-flower bouquets will bloom. He or she is not necessary a strait guy but may also be happy or gay. # # #

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