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Jun 10th
Home Sections Humor & Satire The Question About Heaven and Hell (To Hill and Back)?
The Question About Heaven and Hell (To Hill and Back)? PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Friday, 19 October 2007 14:36

Bobby Reyes replied to a posting by Dr. Nelson Paguyo in several e-newsgroups. Here is what Reyes posted:

The question reminds me of a favorite anecdote among Filipinos in Los Angeles, CA.

The story goes that a Filipino immigrant from Southern Philippines boards a Metro bus bound for Downtown. The bus route ends usually in Grand Avenue, the street before Hill Street.

The Filipino asks (in his Southern accent) the Caucasian driver: "Sir, does this bus go to Hell Street?"

The bus driver answers: "Sir, I don't know where you're going but I sure like to go to Heaven."

Have a Happy Weekend. And for a Happier Weekend, please visit the Humor-and-Satire Section of the We just posted articles about the coming TV series that are planned to be produced and directed (allegedly) by Filipino Americans. They will also use Filipino actors and thespians. The titles of the TV shows are "Desperate Housemaids" and "Desperate Housebands." Then there is also the MabuhayRadio version of the HorrorScope, oops, Horoscope.


Bobby M. Reyes, Editor

-----Original Message-----



Sent: Fri, Oct 19 4:11 PM

Subject: RE: The Question


Glad to share this one with all of you to have an enjoyable weekend. Laugh hard for it is good for your general health. I was laughing towards the end. After all I am assured to go to Heaven since Hell is extinct.

An actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid-term: The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

QUOTE. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when expanded and heats when compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following answer: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." UNQUOTE.

Epilogue. The student received a grade of A+!

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Last Updated on Saturday, 20 October 2007 11:56

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