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Feb 07th
Home Sections Humor & Satire Witty, Witty Words of Wisdom
Witty, Witty Words of Wisdom PDF Print E-mail
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Sections - Humor & Satire
Friday, 02 January 2009 08:20

M ere mortals like you and me don’t have to be poet to understand and appreciate the beauty of words. Here is a collection of words and phrase for us to think, ponder and sigh in relief of finally knowing, grasping and rediscovering how true the message brings. Tracing their origins can be monumental task of research so I let Internet do it for me.


Enjoy reading and cheers for the New Year!

Jose Sison Luzadas

Humor Recyling Expert


* Women and policemen like to listen to confessions.


* There are no incurable diseases, only ignorant doctors.


* It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

* “The Surgeon General advises that smoking can cause cancer.” But “cancer can stop smoking”  


* Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization.   


* Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else


* Even the longest way starts with a first step.


* Follow, lead or get out of the way.


* At sunset, even dwarfs cast long shadows.


* More people drown in the mug than in the ocean.


* The only form of suicide sanctioned by society is to work oneself to death.


* Habits are spider at first, but turn later into barbed wire.


* A drop of luck is better than a barrel of wisdom.


* Nodding is easier for an empty head.


* Men would let their wives have the last word. That is if they knew for sure it would be the last one. 


* Interviewee: “We want somebody to fill this position who is always sober. By the way do you drink?” The applicant's reply: ”Is that a question or an invitation?” 


*You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


* It's relatively easy to turn a learned man into a specialist.
  But it's very difficult to turn a specialist into a learned man.


* A saint has a past, a Sinner a future.


* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


* Birthdays become dangerous when the candles cost more than the cake.


* In many offices, the most important head is the letterhead.


* The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. # # #


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Last Updated on Friday, 02 January 2009 08:30

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When I read about the evils of drinking,I gave up reading.~Henny Youngman