T he story goes that before souls undergo the Final Judgment, they are first sent to Hell for one week as penance for their venial (minor) sins. Then after a week, the souls are brought to Saint Peter, who tells them their final destination of either Heaven or Purgatory or back to Hell.

The parable then tells that somehow former First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, and First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo die on the same day.

At the Visitors’ Lounge, Satan tells the three souls that there is a special long-distance service from Hell to their home country. But the Devil says that the long-distance toll is one-million dollars per minute. The three distinguished souls inquire on how they could pay the phone charges. Satan says that he has a way of automatically transferring from their respective estates’ bank accounts to the Devil’s checking account.

The first to call was former First Lady Hillary. Since she is prudent, she talks only for one minute with her husband. Satan then said that one-million dollars had been debited from her estate’s bank account.

The Duke of Edinburgh then places his call to Buckingham Palace and talks with his Queen for five minutes. After the call, the Devil said that the equivalent of five-million greenbacks in British pound had been had been debited from the Royal bank account.

Atty. Arroyo then places a call to Malacañang Palace and talks with his wife, President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, and the Arroyo children. Later, he also phones his cronies, lawyers and other business associates. The Filipino First Gentleman talks for eight hours.

When First Gentleman Arroyo finishes with his numerous telephone calls, the Devil says, “No charge, Mr. Arroyo.” In fact, Satan tells the First Gentleman that he could call the Philippines any time without any toll.

Mrs. Clinton and Prince Philip nearly went berserk. They claim discrimination and protested vehemently why Mr. Arroyo could call the Philippines for free and at any time of the day at that.

Satan replies: “Mr. Arroyo gets to call for free because since his wife became the Philippine President, the country has gone to hell. So, naturally they are all local calls.”

The moral of this parable? Perhaps Philippine Commonwealth President Manuel L. Quezon said it: “I prefer a government run like hell by Filipinos to a government run like heaven by Americans.” # # #

E ditor’s Note: This instant parable was adapted from an old Spanish joke that was said to have circulated during the regime of Generalissimo Franco. This Iberian joke, which this editor first heard in Madrid, Spain, in 1983, was later copied by critics of President Obama.